


Burn In My Bloodstream

by undernightlight



Series: Music Inspirations [4]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 1970s, Brian is done with Roger, Cute, Early Days, F/M, He's actually done with everyone, I don't know but either way it's really cute so bare with me, John is a little shy, John is a soft boy, M/M, Roger is a little shit, Slow Burn, but in a good way not an actual 'he's not a nice person' kind of way, but still cute, i guess, mentions of past Roger Taylor (Queen)/Original Female Character(s), not actually fully canon though, really slow burn sorry, soft, trust me - Freeform, uses canon events, uses stuff from real life and the film
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-09-13 15:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 33,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16894806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Grace drags her best friend Lillian to her good friend's - happens to be ex-boyfriend's - first gig with his new band. Lillian, though reluctant, decided to go. The music is good, but there's is something about that bass player that's much more enticing than the music and the free cigarettes.





	1. Doing All Right

**Author's Note:**

> So, my first Queen/BoRhap fic and I'm really enjoying it so far, which is good. Whether you picture the band as the actual band or the film version it doesn't really matter. I'll be using some stuff from the actual history, like release days, company management, those kind of things, but smaller details, like outfits and such, may be inspired by one or both, so you're not limited to what you do here.
> 
> Please enjoy!

**July 2nd 1971, a Friday in Surrey**

When the front door opened, Lillian turned to the sound and found Grace coming in, half an hour late, looking tired and in need of either a strong drink or a long nap.

“Everything okay?” Lillian asked from the kitchen, grabbing another mug from the cupboard.

Grace fell against the door to close it. “My fucking boss is an arsehole. He's trying to get me to help cover someone else's shift and then not get paid for it.”

“A load of bullshit that man.”

“I know, right? How dare he? But doesn't matter, I told him no and I don't have to see him until Monday thank God.” As Grace walked to the kitchen, Lillian places the mug in front of her, with the hot water, teabag and spoon already in. “Thanks Lil, honestly you're a lifesaver.”

“I'm not but I'll take the compliment.” Lillian sipped on her drink, leaning back against the counter.

“Did I tell you I was out tonight?” Grace asked.

“No...I don't think so.”

“Oh well, you remember my friend Roger?”

“Dentist student ex-boyfriend Roger?”

“Yeah, that one. Well, his band’s playing tonight, out in Surrey, and I said I'd go. You should come too.”

Lillian set her mug down, “Oh I’m not sure.”

“Come on, it’s your first Friday down here.”

“Exactly, which means I have plenty more Friday’s in the future to go out and see the band.”

Grace turned to her puppy eyes, “Oh please. It’s there first night as Queen and I promised Roger I’d go see them play and it’ll be so much more fun with you. Oh please, please, please.” By the tone of her voice, it was absurd to think she was a university student, yet she was, and a smart one at that, Lillian thought. And Lillian realised as she spoke her next sentence that was was clearly the stupid one in the friendship.

“Fine, I’ll go, but I’m not dressing up fancy.”

“Cool by me as long as you’re presentable.”

“I’m always presentable.” Grace rolled her eyes at the comment as she stirred her tea before taking a sip. “I am,” Lily defended.

“Okay, sure, if you say so. Either way, I’m showering and getting ready.”

# # # # # #

The bar wasn’t overly busy by the time the girls arrived, which Lillian was especially thankful for and Grace pulled her over and ordered them drinks. Lillian at least didn’t feel like people were looking at her, more so her friend in the high waisted short shirt, bright yellow button up and cute heels. Lillian was happy to be wearing all black, much to Grace’s dismay. When Lillian walked into the living room in black fabric flares, a tucked in black t-shirt and black heeled boots, Grace made a very audible sigh.

“You can borrow my flares,” she’s said. She could’ve been referring to any of the pairs she owns, but they were either brightly coloured, patterned or both, and Lillian thought it best to stick with her own.

They weren’t there very long by the time the band came on stage. From Grace’s descriptions, she could easily identify the blond haired drummer as Roger, and the curly hair guitarist as Brian. As for the other two, she wasn’t sure, though she wasn’t wondering long as Brian began speaking into the mic.

“Hey everyone, we’ve got some new faces, a new name too. This is Freddie, our singer, and John on bass.” Singer Freddie gave the ground a large smile and extravagant arm gesture as a welcoming, while John awkwardly waved a little before slinging his instrument across his body.

The music followed soon after. They were good, Lillian thought, as she found herself swept in with the energy of the crowd. After her and Grace had finished their drinks, they were able to shuffle a little closer to the stage, but kept off to the side. People seemed to enjoy it and the band seemed to enjoy playing it. Freddie’s voice was incredible, there was no denying that as it held the attention of the room. They played some songs that people seemed to already know, and songs that they didn’t, but everything was received in a positive light. 

It felt far too soon by the time the band finished their set. They waved and smiled and spoke out thank yous before heading off stage. A few minutes later, Grace turned to Lily and began dragging her out of the bar.

“Come on, I told Roger I’d meet them after the gig.”

Lillian found her at the mercy of her friend as they pushed through people and out of the door, making their way round the back of the venue. They managed to spot the band quite quickly and they made their way over. Of the members, Roger spotted them first, and his face drew to a smile as he came over to them.

“Grace, you made it,” he said, embracing her in a hug that she returned.

“I told you I’d make it and I did, have faith.” They pulled apart. “Roger, this is Lillian, my best friend from home. Lillian, this is Roger, an absolute arsehole.”

“Hey!” He called out in protest, “Not an absolute arsehole, just an arsehole most of the time,” he said with a smile, taking a drag from his cigarette before turning properly to Lillian, “Pleasure to meet you, Gracie’s told me about you.”

“Same here.” He seemed nice, not that she really had much to go on, but at least he was polite so far.

“Come meet the others,” and he lead the way over to the back of an open black van. Grace already knew Brian and hugged him also.

“Alright Grace? It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you, how’s your family?”

“All well Bri, no worries.”

“Band,” enounced Roger, “meet Lillian and Grace,” and pointed at them respectively. “Lillian and Grace, meet the band. Grace you know two of us, but regardless, girls, this is Brian, Freddie and John.”

Before Lillian could fully respond, she was embraced by Freddie. “Hello darling, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Though taken aback, she still hugged him.

“You too.” He then proceeded to hug Grace. Lily looked over to John, who let out a small ‘hi’ in a warm tone and smile as he sat with his legs out the back of the van. “Hey,” she replied, matching the tone as best she could. Her attention was drawn back to the other when she heard Grace speak.

“Really good show guys.”

“Yeah, it was good,” Lillian added.

“I’m glad you liked it,” said Brian, “It’s our first time playing live together so we’re glad it worked out alright. Gotta say, we were a bit nervous.”

“Speak for yourself darling, I was ready to go.”

“I know that Fred, I think everyone could tell you were ready when you broke the mic stand.”

“I don’t need a mic stand, it was only holding me back.”

“If you say so.”

They continued the conversation. Roger offered them both cigarettes which they both took thankfully and was thankful further when he was kind enough to light them. His arm ended up at some point slung around Grace’s shoulders and her arm made it round his waist, leaning into him slightly. Looking at them like that, Lillian was still amazing that things didn’t work out for those two, on a romantic level that is. As far as friends go, they were close, thick as thieves as they say, and that was obvious by the way they stood together and smiled at each other. Lillian just wondered why the romance never worked out for those two; Grace had never told her, in itself a surprising thing because Grace told her everything, and Lillian had just never asked, but seeing them together, she might have to.

Everything flowed quite naturally Lillian thought, between Grace, Roger, Brian and Freddie, but she herself couldn't help but feel a little left out. It wasn’t anybody's fault, not really, but she just didn’t know what to say to them, all their personalities so loud and...there, that Lillian found herself just quietly listening. At one point, her eyes wandered back to the guy in the van, who was smoking and watching the group. When he noticed her eyes on him, he seemed almost startled, shy, but gave a small smile. Always having better luck one on one as opposed to a group, Lillian walked over and sat next to him in the van.

“You guys did do really well tonight, I’m glad Grace managed to convince me to come out.”

“Thank you. It was a little nerve wracking, since we’ve never played live all together before, I’m glad it went well.” He offered her another cigarette that she took and he lit for her while lighting his own. She thanked him.

“How long’s the band been together?”

“That’s probably a more loaded question that you realise.” When she frowned at his response, he elaborated, “Well, Brian and Roger used to play in a band called Smile. The singer left and then Freddie joined and changed the name to Queen. They played together for a while, about six months, and they had a few bass players, but those didn’t work out, so I ended up joining in February.”

“February? So you haven’t really been with them that long then.”

“No, not really. And they all already knew each other before the band, so it’s a little strange, trying to fit in, but the gig went well and that’s what mattered for right now.”

“It was really good. Your solo parts in, urm, what’s the song...Liar?”

“Yes, Liar, that would be the one.”

“Well, your solo in Liar was amazing, so good.”

He smiled a little awkwardly at the compliment, taking a drag before replying, “Thank you, and I’m glad you enjoyed the show.”

“I did, and I wanted to ask-”

But before she could, Lily heard her name called out by Grace, and she turned to see the four of them approaching. “There you are, thought I lost you for a minute,” Grace said, “Roger was saying they're playing next week in an Imperial College bar if we want to go.”

“You guys should totally come, it'll be great,” Roger added, still slung around Grace. He leaned over her to reach the cigarette in the hand of the arm over her shoulder. Grace didn't seem to mind.

“Please, let's go,” Grace pleaded in that same childlike tone that Lillian knew she was weak for.

“Sure, we can go, why not.”

“It'll be wonderful, no doubt about it,” said Freddie with a smile, one Lillian couldn't help return.


	2. Rock It (Prime Jive)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter as I'm on the train on my way home for the holidays; I'm very excited to see all my friends and family again, it's been too long.
> 
> But please enjoy and let me know what you thought of it!

**July 9th 1971, now a Friday in London**

They arrived early, somehow underestimating their time to get ready and time to walk there. Lillian was grateful they didn’t have to get the train again, and was much happier for them to just walk, since they didn’t live that far. They arrived early enough that when they entered, the band were still setting up. More accurately, Roger was still fiddling with his drum kit, getting it exactly the way he liked it, while Brian watched from the side. Grace manoeuvred her way to the front of the establishment, not that it was too hard as the bar was still lacking in gig-goers.

“Hello boys,” she said, dragging out the words as they rolled of her tongue with ease.

They both turned, only now noticing their presence, but both smiled. “Hey kids,” Roger replied, leaving his kit and walking to the edge of the stage.

“We’re not children you know.”

“You may as well be, only nineteen the pair of yous.”

“Well by those standards you should be a senior citizen.”

Roger reached to the insult with an over dramatic clench of his hand against his chest. “I’m hurt Gracie. Respect your elders.”

A unanimous eye roll came from Brian and Lillian at the exchanged. Brian cracked a smile. “It’s hard looking after these ones isn’t it Lily?”

“I live with her, you have no idea.”

Lillian was grateful to have gotten to know Roger and Brian a little better over the week, having met up with them upon Grace’s request. They ended up going for a cheap meal together and Lillian had managed to gain a better perception of both men. Brian seemed more sensible and well rounded of an individual, incredible smart and not minding for people to know that. Roger was also smart, but chose to hide that and more often be an idiot, but he surely thought with his heart and not his head. She hadn’t seen Freddie or John since the previous week.

“I have to practise with him, and honestly he’s a nightmare.”

“I can imagine.”

“Respect your elders,” Roger chimed.

“I am your elder Rog,” interjected Brian, “So shut up.” The drummer frowned but kept his mouth shut and instead he went back to his kit to finish the set up. Brain chuckled at the childish behaviour. “Anyway, should probably get back to sorting some stuff out, but nice to see you. You coming out back after the show?”

“You better!” called Roger.

“We will,” Grace replied, smiling, before the girls turned and headed to the bar to order their first drinks, which they nearly managed to finish by the time the gig started.

Despite only a week passing since their first gig together as a band, they already seemed to get it more than last time. Freddie decided to continue with the broken mic stand, a strange but ultimately positive choice as he was then free to strut his way across the small raised stage, pushing his energy out into the crowd. Roger, at points, looked close to breaking a drumstick with the strength he was drumming. It was a good show, playing the songs from the week before, but somehow it seemed different. They were played the same way, Lillian was sure, but it just sounded more...alive, than it had the previous week, and she found herself bopping along to the tunes. They played a new song she didn’t recognise but she found she also liked.

Unfortunately, much like the previous week, it ended far too soon it seemed. Grace took it as her cue to down the rest of her pint and start dragging Lily behind her to get to the back of the venue; Lillian only had just enough time to grab her practically still full pint as she was being pulled through the crowd. They reached the back easily, Grace already knowing the venue, and found the boys in a similar state to the week before, all crowded around the back of the open van. Roger spotted them and motioned them over.

“Hey,” he said, hugging Grace and flashing a smile to Lillian.

“Hey, good show,” said Grace.

“Yeah, I liked it, still very impressed.”

“Of course you are, we’re fabulous,” Freddie said, smile beaming, but it dropped slightly quite quickly. “Thank you,” his voice quieter, less extravagant and more average for the tone of conversation, “I am glad you liked it. We thought it was better that last week.”

“Definitely,” Grace exclaimed, “And it all just sounded so good.”

Lillian nodded before taking a sip from her drink. She wasn’t even sure if she was allowed to take the glass outside of the bar, but no one stopped her. They fell into conversation quicker than last week, Brian asking Lillian about how it was adjusting, Roger bitching about how he wanted to change his course of study, Freddie making fun of him for being a dental student to begin with. Brain seemed more concerned about Lillian, asking for her input into the conversations when she hadn’t spoken for a little while, and she appreciated it greatly, understanding what he was doing. And despite that, she still found herself looking over to the quiet bass player, sat in the back of the van with a cigarette and his bass between his legs. Lillian then found herself walking over and sitting next to him.

“Good show,” she said.

“Thanks.” He fell silent after that. It was almost like he wanted to say something, judging by the way his eyebrows moved, yet he didn’t say anything else. After a moment of rather awkward silence, he pulled out his squashed packet of cigarettes and offered her one, which she took with a smile.

As he lit it, she said, “I’ll pay you back for this one and last weeks, I’ll remember to pick some up before your next show.”

“Please, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.”

“I know, but it seems only fair.” It fell quiet between them as she took a drag, listening to the beginning of a row about university and course selection and she chuckled a little, gaining John’s attention. “Was going to ask,” she began, “You a student?”

“Yes, I just finished my second year of electronics, officially have my degree now. And yourself?”

“Well firstly congratulations,” and John gave an awkward little smile of thanks, “And I was a maths student, but I actually found out I wasn’t cut out for that, so dropped out.”

“How long did you make it?”

“The entirely of the first year, so at least I managed that, but yeah, wasn’t for me. The workload was a little too much, and there were expectation that there was no way I could reach.”

“Oh I’m sure you would’ve been alright in the end, but I understand what you’re saying, it can get a bit stressful, and I must say I’m happy to be done, hopefully can get a better job now.”

“Hmm,” she hummed along, the voices of the others getting louder, “This your job, the band I mean?”

“No, no, this is just a casual thing really, but they definitely are taking it seriously.” He nodded his head in the direction of the mildly shouting drummer, the cocky lead singer and the fed up looking guitarist. “We’ve already been into the studio, recording stuff, but I doubt we’ll manage to get much more done. It’s an expensive hobby if you don’t make any money out of a record.”

“Well, when the record comes out, I’ll make sure to grab a copy and I expect to get it signed.”

John chucked but a relaxed smile kept it’s place on his lips. “I’m, urm, sure that could be arranged.” He leaned into the side of the van, his shoulder coming up to guard his face a little, before he adjusted himself to more directly face her, bringing a leg up and folding it in. His smile was small but sweet as he took a drag from his cigarette, but their attention was quickly drawn to a flying drumstick and the resulting empty sound it made as it hit the concrete. They looked to see Roger with his other stick in hand ready to launch as Freddie, who only wore a mischievous grin upon his lips. Brain looked rather exhausted with them while Grace only served to encourage Roger. The drummer in question noticed their gazes and an expression flashed across his face, a light bulb moment.

“Lillian, John, answer me this,” he said, storming himself over, “The Who or The Rolling Stones?”

Lillian was aware that there was a clear answer Roger was looking for, and she deduced from the following of people, that Freddie most likely held the opposite opinion. Lily didn’t want to piss Roger off any more – she was unable to tell how much of his rage was staged and how much was genuine – but she didn’t know which answer he would approve of.

“I like both,” which wasn’t a lie, she did. John just shrugged, not giving a verbal response, which Roger gave a dramatic gesture to.

“Wow, thanks.”

“Can we lay this to rest now Rog?” Brian asked, head in his hand.

“Fine, but I won’t be happy about it.”

“We don’t need you to be happy, we just need you to be quiet.”

Freddie seemed rather proud of himself as he shimmied himself between John and Lillian with a smile. “You better be coming tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Lillian asked.

“Yes, we’re playing here again tomorrow night, same time, and I expect to see you both here,” pointing his finger between Lily and Grace.

“We’ll be here, don’t worry,” replied Grace, and Lillian just found herself nodded with no second thought.

“Oh good,” he said, bounding back up again with a smile. Freddie radiated such chaotic energy and Lily couldn’t help but smile at it. She looked to John and found him already looking at her, but he quickly diverted his gaze to the group of people. When he dared to look back, Lillian was still looking at him with a smile, a soft and warm smile he returned happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've realised some little mistake I made in terms of accurate details, and I will probably make quite a few throughout the story, so if I spot them, I'm going to make a little note of them here, because sometimes I can't fix them all and I don't like going back and editing previous chapters. So:
> 
> 1\. Their first show was not in Surrey but in Kensington. I had it in my head it was Surrey but I have no idea why, but for this story it's going to stay Surrey, just know I was wrong about that.
> 
> 2\. I managed to fix it for this chapter, but I'm still slightly confused by it. John went to uni in 69 but got his degree in 71, implying he only did two years there. Unless you could do two years and not three and get a degree back then (Idk if you could) then this just confuses me, but we're going with it. 
> 
> If there's anything you spot, or want to know if I've made it up or not, just let me know!


	3. The Night Comes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to know, I have a Queen fan account on instagram, @radio.deaky, and you're welcome to, you know, follow me if you like, and I'm also super open to having a talk about anything Queen related so feel free to hit me up if you wish.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

**July 10th 1971, that tomorrow Saturday**

“See? Aren't you glad I dragged you out last week?” Grace smugly asked as they walked down the street.

“Alright fine, yes I'm glad, you happy now?”

“I'm always happy. But yes, and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, I told you you would.”

“You sure did. They're a talented group of people I'll definitely give them that, if not a little...argumentative at times.”

“Oh yeah, they get like that. They're all super passionate about their music, at least I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Well, I’m not too sure on John, he’s pretty quiet.”

“He likes what he does, he just doesn’t get involved in their rows it seems.”

Grace hummed in agreement. “Yeah, Roger is a bit immature,” but Grace smiled at the thought of him. They continued walking with idle chatter and laughter as friends so often do, and arrived at the venue. Even before they entered it looked busier than the night before, with more people milling around outside with cigarettes and pints of lager.

Lillian ushered Grace inside before saying, “I’m just going to have a smoke and I’ll be in after.” Grace nodded with a smile and headed in to order their drinks and if she could, see the band as they were setting up.

Keeping herself out of the way, Lillian lit the cigarette between her lips and smoked. She thought once that maybe she’d give up, but it was far too enjoyable and stress relieving that she found little point in following through with the thought. People began filing into the building as the hour began to approach and the band would start playing. She had a little left to smoke before the end. A mess of curly black hair caught her attention as Brian popped out from one of the side doors, looking frantically around the concrete yard. He spotted Lillian and walked over.

“Hey Lily, you haven’t happened to of seen Freddie have you?”

“No, no ones come out the door, why, him and Roger have another fight?”

“No as Freddie hasn’t even turned up yet.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he’s not here, and we’re supposed to start playing in less than fifteen minutes and he should be here. Jeez, he’s fucking late, I hope he doesn’t make a habit out of this.”

“Relax, it’ll be fine, he’ll be here.”

“He better.” Brian, seemingly realising that searching around would do him no good and only increase he anxiety, decided to take a deep breath and turn to speak to Lillian properly. “Thanks for coming by the way. I saw Grace inside but I didn’t have time to talk to her.”

“Hey no problem, can’t really complain to a good night out with good music and drinks and good following company.”

“Just good are we?” Said with mock annoyance.

“There’s always room from improvement Brian, you know that.”

He smiled, before apologies for having to dash back in and finished getting everything ready. Lillian wished him final luck, and she silently wished Freddie would hurry up and get to the venue before Brian had a heart attack waiting, before Brian was gone. She stamped out the end stump of her cigarette before wandering into the building herself. With is being busier than the day before, it was briefly harder to locate Grace, but Lillian spotted her in the same corner by the front of the stage from before, and she made her way through the people to her friend who stood with a pint in each hand.

“There you are,” Grace chimed when Lillian reached her, “Do you know how tempted I was to drink this?” as she shoved the full drink into Lillian’s waiting hand.

“Appreciated that you didn’t.”

# # # # # #

The band were where they’d been previously, but now more tucking into the van. They were spotted as they were walking over, and all four of the boys got up to greet them. Grace hugged Roger as she always did, and Lillian was happily surprised when Brain leant down to hug her with a smile; a friendly giant indeed. Freddie proceeded to hug her after – thank God he ended up getting to the bar before the show started – enveloping her in a tight squeeze. With what Lily assumed was out of obligation, Roger hugged her too, though she didn’t mind, and he didn’t seem too uncomfortable with it, more likely just knowing if whatever level of friendship that had had reached that level. When she turned to John, she was unsure whether to hug him as he stood a little further back from the others, but he smiled when they made eye contact, so she decided to hug him anyway. He seemed rather taken aback by the action but returned it regardless, and they all began talking.

Quite soon after Lillian and Grace had arrived, Lily ended up standing back by John, and she pulled out her cigarette pack, opening it up to him. He chuckled but took one, and followed, then handing him her lighter.

“Thanks,” and he handed back the lighter and she lit her own.

“I told you I owed you.”

“I said it didn’t matter.”

“And I said I didn’t care.”

He chuckled a little, and they fell into quiet. Brian called over to Lillian, asking her if she’d visited a specific restaurant since she’d been in London, and she said she hadn’t, and recommended it. That dragged her into the conversations with Brian, Roger, Freddie and Grace, and she comfortably interacted with them, better than the previous times. John stood close by her but didn’t talk as much as the others, occasionally interjecting, but it seemed his comments were often glanced over unless she brought more attention to it. It was strange, she thought, how on the outside he seemed.

# # # # # #

“Hey, I’m probably going to be heading home soon,” Lillian said, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

“So soon?” Roger asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got work tomorrow so need to get some sleep before that.”

“Who the hell works a Sunday?”

“Me. I get paid extra too because it’s Sunday, so I really can’t complain. But I’ll head off. You staying Grace?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’ll stay out a bit longer.”

“Can you guys make sure she comes home properly?”

“She can just crash at mine,” offered Roger, and Grace seemed content with that solution and so did Lillian. She made her way around everyone, hugging them, but John didn’t hug her when she stood in front of him.

“I’ll walk back with you,” he said instead, “I also work some Sundays.”

The two of them said farewell, and John grabbed his bass from the back of the van before they made their way to the main road. They weren’t walking too long before Lillian spoke up. “You don’t have to walk with me you know.”

“I know,” he said with an awkward smile, “I just have work tomorrow so I’d’ve left soon anyway, so I thought I might as well walk with you. I hope I wasn’t intruding.”

“No, no, you’re fine, just didn’t want you to feel like you had to walk with me, or anything like that, you know.” He nodded and they continued in silence for a little while. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could’ve been, which was something Lillian hadn’t been expecting, but she still broke it to ask him a question. “You get along with the other guys?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you just don’t seem to talk to them as much.”

“Oh that. It’s not that I don’t get along per say...I still the new guy, and it’s just hard slotting in with them. They’ve all known each other for quite some time, over a year, and I’ve known them less than five months. I’m sure things will settle down after a while.”

“Yeah, they probably will. And I know what you mean, being the new guy; Grace is friends with Roger and Brian already, and she’s got friends on her college course, and it just feels like I’m imposing when I turn up to the gigs.”

“You’re not.”

“It’s still hard to not feel like that though.”

John nodded along, understanding, and they continued to walk together quietly. Lillian found herself not feeling as uncomfortable as she thought, just being in silence with him, and though she wanted to talk to him, learn about him, she had difficulty finding a way of making it sound natural, not like she was probing him for information. So instead she didn’t say anything for a while, thinking things through but struggling. She wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, too wrapped up in her head, and she stumbled. Lillian barely had time to brace for the impact with the concrete that...never came, and she realised that John had somehow managed to react in time to grab a hold of her arm and pull her toward him. She did feel an impact though, against him, and she practically headbutted his shoulder. Dazed, she didn’t move, and it was John that slowly leant back and down to get a better look at her.

“Are you alright?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Urm...yeah, fine, thanks to you.” Lillian chuckled as she composed herself and stepped away from him.

He smiled, and his hand drop back to his side. “It’s quite alright, just be careful and watch where you’re going.”

“Some wise advice there John, thank you, I’ll take it to heart.” And they began walking again.

“What even had you so distracted in the first place? It wasn’t exactly hard to miss the clearly uneven pathings.”

Lillian thought that this would be the best opportunity she’d get. “Well, I was trying to think of things to ask you, you know, to get to know you a bit more, without it sounded forced and stupid.”

“I mean, I guess you did a good job?” His tone questioning but his face happy, smiling. “Ask away, though I doubt I have many interesting answers to give.”

# # # # # #

Eventually they reached her building. It was one of many identical brick building on the street, but was the only one with the door painted a colour other than black, instead, and bright green that really caught people’s attentions. Lillian stopped in front of the door, and waited for John to noticed; he only managed a few extra paces before he realised she was gone from his side, and turned to find her stood by some stone steps leading to a building.

“This is me,” she said as he walked back towards her.

“Yes, I gathered that.”

“Thanks for walking back with me, you really didn’t have to, and I hope I haven’t taken you off your usual route.”

“No, no, it’s fine. And I enjoyed walking back with you. I don’t normally talk this much but urm...yeah.” He seemed a little nervous or embarrassed, Lillian couldn’t really tell, but he flushed slightly pink either way.

“Still, thank you.” She stretched up to hug him, and he wrapped his free arm around her. As she pulled away, she was smiling and so was he. Lillian fished the building’s keys from her bag and said one final goodbye and good night to John before entering. John smiling and continued the way they’d been going as she was saying goodbye, but when he knew she was in and he couldn’t be seen, he turned and headed back the way they came. When they first left, he was going in the right direction, but at one point he should’ve turned right whereas she was to keep going, and he found himself just happily staying by her side. It wasn’t too far to walk back and he didn’t mind, he’d enjoyed the company sharing little things about himself and getting snipits back from her; there was something about her that he couldn’t quite place that made him feel at ease. It was silly, he thought, and yet it was true. He never talked so easily and freely to people he barely knew, and she was nice but he’d only met her two times previous, but something about talking to her just felt comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You enjoying the song related chapter titles?? I try to have them at least a little related to the theme of the chapter, but honestly it's whatever fits the tone.
> 
> Also, and I really want opinions on this, does this also become a lil Brain/Roger thing too? Like, they'd still take second to Lillian and John, but just curious what you'd want to see. I'm on the fence, and since I'm a few chapters ahead writing, there's some cute stuff with them, but it works as friends or as, you know, a little more than that. Either way, they're super close buddies and I love it!


	4. Breakthru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, enjoy!!
> 
> This is where time starts to skip in bigger chucks and it's good to bare that in mind, so at this point Lillian has known the band for just over a month.

**August 6th 1971, another Friday in Surrey**

Every Queen concert since the night they began performing, Grace and Lillian found themselves there, and that night was no exception, as they found themselves hoping off the train in Surrey again and walking to the bar. Each time the band performed they kept getting better, and the girls found themselves smiling at that. And after every gig, they would go out back and find them and they’d all talk; on one occasion they stayed with the band at the back of the venue in their black van for quite some time after, and Lillian accidentally drifted off, and John had to gently shake her awake when Grace thought they should be leaving. Every time she’d hug them all and always in the same order: Brian, Freddie, Roger then John. And Grace had her order: Roger, John, Freddie then Brian. It was just how it was.

They reached the venue, a different one from their last gig in Surrey and the girls hurried in as they were already late and the show was about to start. As they entered, the bands was taking to the stage. Lillian did as she often did right at the start during the introductions - she scanned them down and admired their clothes.

She was truly jealous of Freddie’s spirit and attitudes towards his wardrobe, not caring what others thought, and that was reflected in the near full satin outfit and extravagant jewellery adorned across his wrists and around his neck, the deep v emphasising them only further. Brian was no subtler, in an oversized silken shirt with the buttons only half done up. Roger also went for a dramatic and chest exposed look, a bright red vest left open and a gold pendant resting comfortably between his pectorals, but still with his signature sweat bands around his wrists. In any other circumstance, John’s outfit would’ve been eye catching, with the well fitted but flared pants, a white button up, shiny black jacket and monochrome brogue platforms, but pitted against the rest of the band, he seemed rather average. Still, he caught her eyes first and they remained on him throughout the gig.

They opened with Keep Yourself Alive, the song Freddie just knew would be their title track of the album, once it was done, and they all seemed comfortable with it. Lillian was convinced it was their best rendition so far, thought she’d yet to hear the studio recording; according to Brian, it took them quite some time as Freddie wanted everything to be exactly perfect, though Roger swore he played everything exactly the same on each take. Both the girls found themselves singing along, enjoying the song they’d come to know quite well over the month, though Grace knew it when it was Smile. Grace however claimed that Queen’s rendition was far from the same, making it their own, and both Brian and Roger would attest to that.

Lillian watched John and thought he seemed more comfortable, more free while performing on stage, allowing himself to drift more from location to location while Freddie strutted around him. She found it quite cute to watch John quietly singing the words under his breath to himself as he played. Cute, yes, she indeed thought that. Whether it was anything more than just a passing physical attraction, time would surely tell she thought; she needed to spend time with him away from gigs to truly make a better judgement on whatever was beginning to bubble in her stomach when he smiled or when he spoke, or even when he just happened to look her way.

He did that often she noticed; at the start of the shows she could see him scanning the crowd, quickly but efficiently, before spotting her and smiling, and then his eyes would fall back to his hands or his instrument, but he would often look to find her again throughout the performance. That night was no exception, but it took him a little more time to find her, further back than usual in the highly packed bar. But John found her and he smiled at her when their eyes met, an she returned it.

Liar was played a couple tracks later, a song that really allowed each and every member their time to show off, including John, though he didn’t call it showing off, more just doing what was right for the song. She loved watching the song being performed, and she couldn’t imagine how a studio recording would be able to compete with the live equivalent. The lyrical interlude hit, and John was startled when Freddie shimmied his way up to him, very clearly intending to make the youngest of them sing. John luckily knew the words, the little “all day long”s he needed to add in when appropriate, though Freddie’s action didn’t startle him any less knowing this. He wasn’t a singer but sang along when he was supposed to, singing into the mic Freddie held up to him.

They finished with Doing All Right, originally also by Smile, but sped up when Freddie took lead, and it worked well. The song showcased the vocal talents of Roger, Freddie and Brian, singing the opening, middle and end respectively, and all chipping in with backing vocals when necessary. John didn’t have his own mic and didn’t sing for that one, but he mouthed the words under her breath nonetheless.

When the show finished, it was easy for them to get out, still stood towards the back, but they were unable to spot the van in the car park. It wasn’t long however, that they spotted the boys leaving from the back door, and Grace and Lillian approached them.

“Hey,” Grace called, catching their attention before they wandered off. The group greeted them with smiles and a chorus of “hi”s and “hello”s, and hugs. “We couldn’t see your van and thought you’d already managed to leave.”

“No, no,” said Brian, “It’s just got something wrong with it, not fully sure what yet, but we’re hoping it won’t be anything too serious.”

“How’d you guys manage to get up here then?” Lillian asked.

“Joys of public transport,” Roger replied.

Brian specified, “The train.”

“So did we,” Grace chimed in.

The group of six shuffled themselves towards one of the smoking shelters and out of the way, Brian and John resting their guitar cases against the brick wall. Cigarette packets and lighters were pulled from pockets and bags and shared, Freddie’s box for him and Roger, Brian’s for only himself, and Lillian’s for Grace and John as well as herself; all were lit swiftly. Conversation came easily to the group, spending enough time in each other’s company for things to no longer be awkward. John and Lillian were still more inclined to have quiet talks between themselves, but they kept engaged, Brian often dragging Lillian back into discussions and Freddie doing the same with John; the singer seemed to have taken a rather protective roll over the young one.

They pissed about for a while before they all decided that they were hungry and wanted food. The decision was then whether they should get food first, or go back into London. “I know I good Chinese place near mine, pretty cheap too?” Roger said, and that was enough for a unanimous decision to be formed, and they all started towards the train station. They weren’t walking long before Grace grabbed Lily by the arm and pulled her to the back of the group, a few paces behind everyone else.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask,” Grace began, her tone light but her face holding a slight smirk, “What’s up with you and John?”

“Me and John? Nothing’s up Grace.”

“Really? Because I could swear you’re into him.”

“That’s a different question,” Lillian responded, and as she took another step forward, she was yanked back by her friend.

“Hang on, what? You like him?” Wafting her arm around, Lillian tried to get Grace to keep her voice down before they heard. Luckily, it didn't seem that any of the boys did. “Sorry,” she said, now a manageable volume, “But why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s nothing big or important.”

“I think it is.”

“Look, I think he’s cute, he’s super sweet, but that’s all it is, alright? I haven’t spent enough time with him to really...you know, think about it all.”

“I suppose,” Grace said but Lillian was convinced that this was not the end of the conversation, even after Grace trotted off to catch up with the rest of them. Lillian jogged to catch up and everything was fine. Lillian kept an eye on Grace, just for good measure. She turned when he felt a tap on her shoulder, and John was smiling at her, and the two of them talked while they walked to the station.

They were just in time for the train, only having to wait a few minutes until it arrived and they were able to board. It was late and the train was mostly empty, a few younger people still out, the odd middle ages man with a news paper. John and Brian stored their guitars in the overhead sections before addressing the seating; there were pairs and their were groups of four with tables, but they were six. Grace offered a solution, though it was not exactly that, before anyone spoke.

“Oh, I need to talk to Roger about some stuff. John, do you mind sitting with Lillian?” Grace smiled so innocently at John and Lillian, and witch Lily stood behind him, she took the opportunity to glare daggers in her friend’s direction; Lillian knew what she was doing.

John nodded, “No problem,” then he turned to Lillian, “If you’re okay with that.”

“Yeah, of course.” The two of them shuffled into a pair of seats, and the rest of the group sat at a table of four a little further back, per Grace’s request to be further from the carriage doors. Lillian had watched them as they walked passed, Grace still smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of it so far, and if there's anything you'd like to be included, like an specific moments are lines of dialogue or general sentiment; I love receiving input from you guys.


	5. Drowse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update your wayyy. Hope you enjoy!

Thank God for twenty four hour Chinese restaurants in London on a Friday night/Saturday morning. The six of them sat together eating away at the chow meins and spring rolls and wontons and curry through conversation. A few more drinks had been ordered and now Roger was slightly more than slightly tipsy, which Freddie still seemed alright. Brian chose not to drink any alcohol. Lillian, John and Grace all opted for another drink, but refrained from drinking as much as Roger, as he wobbled when he stood.

The food was good and cheap like Roger had said, which they were all grateful for. By the time they were all leaving the restaurant it was close to two in the morning, though none of them seemed tired, all still smiling, and Roger swaying as they started down the street. Brian acted as a human crutch as the drummer kept bumping into him, and eventually Brian just wrapped an arm around Roger’s waist and one of Roger’s arm ended up slung around Brian’s neck and shoulders. At least they didn’t fall over. Grace was laughing at Roger whenever he tripped or stumbling, and Freddie was leading the pack, singing all the while. Lily and John were behind them, talking a little more quietly than the others, knowing full well there’d be people wanting to sleep.

When they reached Roger’s flat, Brian fished the keys out the drummer’s back pocket, and said farewell to the rest of them, saying it’d be best if he just stayed the night at Rog’s. They agreed that he was probably right and said goodnight. Freddie lived the furthest from their location, but they all agreed it be best to make sure the singing loon made it home safe. He lived in a slightly nicer area, having a stable job and income and can therefore afford a place a little better than what they could as students. John had to help Freddie unlock his door, but other than that it all went smoothly, and the three of them began heading back the way they came.

Grace managed to talk to John a little more, and she could are where the appeal came from for Lillian. Of course, he wasn't her type, her type being closer to that of her ex-boyfriend, but John was cute. And he certainly was sweet, always making sure he didn't speak over them and always paying attention. Though Grace was not blind, and it was clear his attention was far more on Lillian than her. And Grace was fine with that.

John was happy to listen to the girls talking about back home, and how they were when they were younger as they walked towards their flat. John was happy to listen because he got hear Lillian laugh, and when she did, her eyes would crinkle at the corners. He was very much aware that he had a mild crush on her, and crush was definitely the right work as it gave him that giddy feeling in his stomach like when he was a young teen. He thought about asking her out, but it wasn’t a large thought, and he was just happy being her friend; he hadn’t known her long at all, but she put him at ease like no one else did.

They eventually reached the girl’s apartment, and Grace quickly hugged John before snatching Lillian’s bag with the keys and scuttled to open the door, leaving those two alone of the street.

“I had a good night, and in case I didn’t say before, you did a good show tonight.”

“You did say, but thank you again, means a lot. And I had a good night too.”

“You could...come inside for a bit of you want? Make some tea if you want?”

As much as John wanted to, he needed to get back. He was tired and he desperately needed sleep. He’d had fun, and it was great spending time with her, and he’d like to spend more time with just her too, but he needed to go home and go to bed.

“Sure,” he said, and he followed her up to her apartment.

# # # # # #

They entered the flat and Grace was loitering in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. She seemed surprised when John followed Lily in, but not as surprised as she could’ve been, and instead her raised eyebrows quickly lowered and a smile creeped onto her face.

“Hi again,” she said.

“I invited John up for a bit, hope you don’t mind.”

“I hope I’m not intruding,” he said, his arms pulled close to his body.

“No, no, don’t worry, I was just making myself a cup of tea then heading off to bed. You’ll have the living room to yourselves.” As if on queue, the whistling of the kettle signals the water’s hot enough and she poured it into her mug, grabbed a spoon, then shuffled away. Lillian replaced her spot and John hovered around.

“Tea?” Lillian double checked, and John offered a nod. He set his bass guitar resting against the wall by the front door.

Luckily there was enough hot water left for two mug fulls and they still had plenty of tea bags. She took two mugs from the cupboard and poured in the water, then added the tea bag. As she grabbed a spoon, she asked John his tea preferences.

“Milk, one sugar please,” he said, and she followed the instructions.

“Don’t look so tense.”

“Sorry.”

“And there’s no need to apologise, I just mean you can relax. Don’t worry about Grace, she’ll probably read for a bit, then be out like a light.”

He nodded and then accepted the mug she held out to him, and he followed her to the couch in the connected living room. She fiddled around with the radio, hoping for at least something for background music, and she found a channel playing old music from the thirties; it was quite relaxing to listen to. She bopped her head along to the song and John watched as she then sat down. Wanting to keep conversation, he asked: “Do you play any instruments?”

She seemed unfazed by the seemingly random inquiry and answered. “No, always wanted to I guess, but never settled on what to learn so never got round to anything.” She took a sip from her mug, “You play any other instruments, other than bass of course?”

“I actually started off playing guitar, but the band I was in when I was younger, well, the bass played didn’t really seem to care as much as the rest of us so he was kicked out, and I ended up taking his place.”

“Must’ve been a pain.”

“A little, but I think the change was probably for the best for me.”

“I mean, I haven’t heard you play guitar so I can’t say, but judging by your bass skills, I’m inclined to agree.”

John could feel his blush as it kept up his neck and onto his cheeks, he only hoped it wasn’t obvious to her, and he attempted to hide it behind the mug as he drank. Maybe tea wasn’t the best option, as when he was sleepy, it only seemed to make it worse. She asked about his old band, The Opposition, and he told her about the shows they used to play and how he had to borrow money from another member just to buy a guitar to play. He mentioned he still had all the newspaper clipping of articles and snipits mentioning the band in a scrapbook, and to his surprise, she showed genuine interest in it, asking to see it sometime. He nodded, thinking it’d be nice to share those memories.

They talked a little while longer, drinking their tea in between speaking and listening, until Lily stood. “Just give me a minute, is that alright? I’m just going to get changed.” He nodded as she set her nearly empty mug on the coffee table before wandering off. His mug was empty, had been for a while, and the drowsiness from the tea was in full affect. With the mug on the table next to hers, he stretched himself out a little, his knees stiff from being crossed at a strange yet comfortable angle. As hard as he tried, he wasn’t able to stay away.

# # # # # #

When he woke up, he was in a bed that wasn’t his. He startled upright, almost comically so, and scanned across the room that was unfamiliar to him. That last thing he remembered was sitting with Lillian on her couch, she got up to change and...then what? He must've fallen asleep, though that didn't really explain how he ended up in someone bed.

John pulled himself from the blanket he was rankled in – still fully dressed at least, if not a little asque – and stood. He looked around the room further to see if there would be any clues. Along one wall was a bookshelf, most shelves filled with books of different sized and of different topics, some fiction some not, but two shelves were reserved for photographs and small charms. So it was Lillian’s room, judging by who was in the pictures, though it could be Grace’s. There were bedside tables and a set of draws, the top of which held a vinyl played, and there was a box with said discs at the side.

Carefully, and already feeling like an intruder, he wandered out of the room. He instantly saw the sign on the door when he did, green letters raised from a darker green background spelling out Lillian’s name. So it was her room, if he had any doubt. The living room he entered seemed quiet and still as he passed his was further into the room. His attention was caught when he saw something shift from the corner of his eye, and when he peered over the back of the couch, there was Lillian quietly sleeping, face turned into the fake, dark green leather. She was curled in on her side, one leg only slightly bend while the other was brought into her chest. There was pillow half under her head, half sliding up, and a blanket lay on the floor; John deduced that it was most likely once draped across her, but fell in the night/early morning. Lillian looked so very sweet, in striped shorts and a t-shirt, lips parted slightly, but he was getting distracted from the point at hand; now what?

Surprisingly, he’d never found himself in a situation quite like this, and was unsure what etiquette should be. Does he leave? Should he wait for her to wake up? Should he make tea to return the favour of the previous night? Though it seemed he didn’t need to decide as Lillian stirred and woke from her sleep. She looked up and found him looking down, and she just smiled at him.

“Morning John, you sleep okay?”

“Urm, yes...yes, thank you, but urm...how did I end up in your room? It was your room, right?”

Lillian sat and picked up the blanket from the floor and draped it across her. “You don’t remember?” When he shook his head no, she patted the couch cushion opposite her and he carefully sat himself down next to her. “I went to go get changed into my pyjamas, you know, to be comfy, and I mean, I guess I took longer than I intended to because when I returned you’d fallen asleep.”

“I urm, I think I remember that.”

“Well, I mean, you didn’t look the most comfortable, so I woke you – you’re a heavy sleeper by the way – and since I didn’t know where you lived and you were far too tired to walk to where ever you needed to be and I’d already changed, I though it just best if you stayed here for the night. So then, and with much persuasion, I got you to go and sleep in my bed.”

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, it’s not a big deal.”

“But you slept on the couch.”

“I’ve slept on the couch many a time John, and even when my bed has just been in the next room. Don’t worry about it, really. And besides,” she said with a smile, “If I was really that bothered I wouldn’t be this smiley in the morning.” She stood with enthusiasm that startled him a little. “I’m making myself some tea, you want some?”

“If it’s, urm, not too much trouble.”

“Of course it’s not, I did ask after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is coming up, and I wish you happy holidays of any and every kind, and if you don't celebrate anything for any particular reason, that's cool, and therefore I wish you a good day and further ahead!


	6. In The Lap Of the Gods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, Merry Christmas Eve I suppose. I have to say, I actually really like this chapter, and there's a little more John POV but not massively, but I just really like this chapter; it's a fluffy chapter so hope you like it!

**August 19th, 1971, a surprisingly rainy Thursday in summer**

“Happy Birthday!”

All heads turned to Roger as he entered the restaurant, Brian silently apologising behind him, and the two of them made their way to the rest of the group. Freddie and John were already there when Grace and Lillian arrived, and that was about twenty minutes ago, and all of them were already at least half way though a pint.

“Sorry about the time,” Brian said as they sat down at the table, “Roger forgot-”

“Roger forgot nothing!” The drummer interjected, “Roger did great this time so there!” He pulled a tongue at Brian, who only shook his head in disappointment – or was it embarrassment? – before turning his attention back to everybody else.

“Did we miss much?”

“We were discussing why modern fashion should be pushing for androgynous models in their collections.”

“No Freddie,” Lillian said, “You were discussing why modern fashion should be pushing for androgynous models. We,” and she circled a finger around herself, Grace and John, “were just listening.”

“But you agree with me.”

“Yes Fred, you made a very strong case.”

They all laughed, and the birthday celebrations began. John received a card from each of them, and each card had little handwritten messages of different length inside. He found Roger’s particularly funny, mentioning how when John first saw Queen live in October of the previous year he wasn’t impressed, and a part of the card read ‘you fucking impressed now?’ and John could help but laugh and thank him, and add that he was now much more pleased with the band’s sound. Brian’s was more generic, a general happy birthday and good wishes, but not to say appreciated any less. Freddie’s of course was signed extravagantly with a fitting sign off of ‘your darling’ and three little kisses; John would expect nothing less of Fred. Grace’s was similar to Brian’s but with an added smiley face at the end for good measure. From Lillian, the card was a little different, square and not rectangular, and she wrote a nice message about how she was happy to be able to celebrate his twentieth with him, and enclosed were two heavy duty guitar picks in blue. He smiled when they fell into his lap, and after looking them over, definitely thought they’d be suitable for playing bass with. He didn’t often play with picks, but he might start more.

The band also provided a few small presents, more than he was expecting since he hadn’t known them all that long. Brian bought him a book on advanced electronics he’d mentioned he was thinking about getting and his stomach couldn’t help but twist a little at the thought that Brian remembered it in a passing conversation. Freddie bought him a bracelet, and even though he didn’t wear much jewellery, John could see himself with the simple but beautiful bracelet. Roger’s gift of a few free pints on him was still appreciated and John would put that to good use throughout the evening.

When the waiter came over, they all ordered some food. Freddie tried to take lead and order for everybody, but some amendments needed to be made, especially when considering that he ordered Brian a dish with meat; he clearly didn’t think it though. But what Freddie picked was good enough for Roger and Lillian, so they trusted Freddie’s gut and let his choice for them stick. And then they all soon fell to chatting.

“So how’s it feel to finally by twenty?” Roger asked after he’d finished his first pint.

“The same as it felt to be nineteen. Nothing changes over night Roger.”

“I did for me,” and he added a wink in, aimed at no one in particular.

“I don’t want to know what that means, thanks,” added Brian before taking a drink of his own.

Their food arrives and they began eating their way through, still talking. “Any other plans to celebrate?” Lillian asked John.

“Going up to see my family on the weekend, they’re pretty insistent that I do, but it’ll be nice to see them all. It’s been a while since I’ve been home.”

“You’re not missing tomorrow’s show are you?” asked Roger

“No, no, I’m leaving Saturday morning so there’s not need to worry.”

“You girls coming tomorrow?” asked Brian as he took a bite from one of his spring rolls.

“Of course,” Grace said, and Lillian added, through a mouthful of chow mein, “When do we not?”

# # # # # #

They stumbled up the stairs and into Roger’s apartment in the early hours, all varying degrees of drunk, but John was drunkest of all, barely managing to keep himself upright independently; he only managed to get up the stairs with Lily and Freddie supporting him, though both of them were a little more than a little drunk. Roger struggle to get the key in, so Grace was kind enough to help, and they all fell into the flat. It was lucky that Roger’s flat mates were out, and as he was the closest to the restaurant, they all decided to crash at his place.

“Alright, who wants clothes?” Roger announced once the door was shut. Lillian, Grace and Freddie all raised hands and made rather indistinguishable noises, and then Roger nodded before trotting off to his room. He returned a few moments later, everyone now seating themselves around the living room, with a smattering of fabric in his arms. “Grace, for you,” he said, handing her a t-shirt.

“Oh this is my favourite of yours,” she said smiling, which he returned; it was clear he chose to give her that shirt for that reason.

“This t-shirt alright Lil?” He waved a black t-shirt with purple designs in front of her, and she nodded, allowing Roger to drop it on her head. For Fred, Roger handed him a tank top and shorts, and the three shuffled to other rooms to change. The shirts were long enough on the girls to go past their bums and keep the modesty, but they wouldn’t of minded too much anyway; Grace had know them a good amount to feel at ease, and though Lillian hadn’t, they’d all made her welcome. Freddie’s shorts covered not much more than the equivalents on their t-shirts anyway.

They drunk some more, Roger being kind enough to share his secret stash of alcohol, and they laughed and talked and found themselves cramming onto furniture that wasn’t designed for that amount of people. Roger parked himself of Brian’s lap on one of the chairs, and it was unclear whether Brian minded much, though they assumed he didn’t as he locked his fingers together around Roger’s waist. The other four had managed to squash themselves onto the two person couch; John was leaning against the arm of the couch, and Lillian was stretched out with her head on his shoulder. Her legs were across Freddie’s and Grace’s laps, and Grace had one of her legs crossed across Fred’s.

Eventually it was time to sleep, with many of them beginning to drift in and out of consciousness. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too hard to arrange the group between two double beds and a single. Freddie volunteered himself for the single so he wouldn’t have to share with anybody, also claiming he moved around a lot in his sleep. Roger decided for Grace and Brian that they’d share his bed between the three of them, and neither of the others objected; Grace claimed Roger to be the best big spoon she knew and Brian said he’s always imagine Roger as the little spoon. Roger vowed to prove Brian wrong as he stomped off to his bedroom, the other two following with smiles. And John and Lillian were left for the other double bed, and both were happy with that.

Stumbling slightly and bracing themselves on the wall, they made it to the room that Roger so kindly allowed them to use. John struggled to get his shoes off so Lillian opted to help, wobbling and falling to the floor when she leant down to pull them from his feet, and he giggled at that. Between the two of them, they managed to get his feet free and her up from the floor. Lillian walked around to the other side while John pulled off his shirt and they shuffled into the bed.

“Maybe we should turn the light off,” John said after a few moments of silence, a smile easily heard.

“You may be right,” and Lily got back up and turned it off. It was difficult to get back in the dark but she managed, only walking into the end bed but not injuring herself, though she heard John laugh at the thud sound she made. She climbed back in and after some quiet, she spoke again. “Did you have a good birthday?”

“I did. I really did, thanks.”

“I’m glad I was able to celebrate it with you. Happy twentieth John.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Told you it was fluffy. I love our gang all kind drunk. And I'm sorry if it comes across like Roger's an alcoholic, he ain't, he just likes to drink more than some of the others, so I'm not hating on Rog, no worries. And cute lil drunk Roger sat on Brian is really cute to me.
> 
> I'm writing stuff ahead, so any suggestions you make, I do execute or work stuff in, but it'll just be a little bit further down the line. So there's some soft side Maylor stuff going on, which is awesome, and some more John POV ahead, so stick around for that.
> 
> All your support and comments and kudos means a lot, so thank you!!


	7. Dead On Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year's Eve! 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think :)

**October 29th 1971, far too early on a Friday morning**

“Lillian, are you up?” Grace called.

“Yes,” she lied.

“You’re lying.”

“Yes.”

“Come on, get up and get ready, Roger and Brian will be here soon.” With one final moan, Lillian pulled herself from her bed. At least she’d done all her packing the night before. As she plodded out into the main room, she saw Grace was already dressed and ready to go as she hovered by the stove. “Morning sleepy head,” she said to Lillian, who just gave a tired wave in response. “If you shower quickly I’ll make you breakfast.” That was enough for Lily to get herself together and head to the bathroom. She was quick, for breakfast and knowing they were getting picked up soon, and emerged refreshed and less tired than before. Grace had since turned on the radio and she had the joy of dressing to the sounds of King Crimson. Her zip-up, long sleeved polo and denim skirt combo were comfy enough for the length train journey back home, but also still cute, and she always enjoyed looking cute.

Grace was plating eggs when she returned fully dressed, towel still on her head. “Feeling better?” She asked.

“Much,” Lily replied, and was grateful when Grace handed her some tea and a plate of food. “Thanks.”

“No worries, just make sure you eat quickly, they’ll be here in about fifteen minutes, and we still have to get Freddie and John too.”

“I know, I know, I’ll be ready.”

Grace laughed, seemingly doubtful, and began eating her own food, but taking it to her room so she could eat and pack simultaneously. Dishes were washed and a final tidy around the flat was done, and twenty minutes later the buzzer sounded. Lillian answer with a hello.

“It’s me and Bri,” came Roger’s voice. “Mind if we come up, Brian needs a piss.”

Lillian chuckled at not only the bluntness of the statement but also the muffled reaction of Brian. “Yeah, yeah, come on up, number 23 remember,” and she buzzed them on into the building. A few moments later there was a knock at the door and it opened to Roger and Brian with smiles. “Good morning,” she said from the sink.

“Morning,” Brian said, and before he needed to ask, Lillian pointed to the bathroom door, and he mouthed a thank you as he shuffled towards it.

“You already?” Roger asked.

“Yeah, all packed. Grace!” Lily called, and seconds later a head popped from her door followed by the rest of her body when she saw Roger.

“Oh hey, didn’t hear you guys,” she said as she hugged him. “Where’s Bri?”

“Having a piss,” chimed in Lillian as she dried her hands on a tea-towel.

“Exciting. Everything ready though?”

Roger replied, “Yep, all our stuff loaded, just got to get the others and then we can set off. I’m glad you guys are coming back with us. You sure you’re not missing too much of class?”

“No, it’ll be fine, I’ll just get people to fill me in on everything I miss. Besides, shouldn’t you be the worried one, changing course and all?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve learn enough doing dentistry that biology will be a breeze, trust me.”

“I wish we could,” Lily weighted in. At that moment Brian came out from the bathroom, but stopped when all eyes turned to him.

“Did I miss something?”

“No no, we’re just about ready though,” Lillian said, “Let us grab out stuff and we can go.”

The girls took their bags, and locked up the flat as they left. Roger and Brian were kind enough to carry their bags down the stairs and put them in the van. Brian drove while the other three sat in the back and they went to pick up John. He was waiting outside his building with his bag at his feet and his bass against the metal railing and when they pulled up, he hopped into the back easily, settling himself next to Roger and opposite Lily. They all exchanged smiles and then they headed for Freddie’s. Brian had to go into his building and get him – Brian had a spare key and he made a mental note to try and get one for Roger’s apartment – and while the others chatted away, Brian worked on getting Freddie up and dressed in a record time. Twenty minutes later, the lead singer and guitarist came back out onto the street, and Brian assumed his position in the driver’s seat with Freddie took shotgun, throwing his bag into the back and hitting Roger in the head. They then set off on their long drive up to Liverpool.

The van quickly descended into musical madness when Freddie stuck in one of his cassette tapes, and the entire group was singing along, Roger, Freddie and Grace singing louder and more enthusiastically than the others at their early time, but all were singing and all were having a good time.

“Well that was fun,” Roger said when the tape finished, and nobody could quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not. Freddie didn’t seem to care either way, but they opted to give Brian a break and just talk instead. Brian seemed silently thankful for the decrease in volume. Grace ranted about a girl she was working with in class but didn’t turn up to lectures, which resulted in them all complaining about the people in their lives that weren’t pulling their weight. Lillian spoke strongly against a colleague who kept slacking off their shift and Roger ranted about a lazy teacher who never seemed to grade his submissions. Freddie also complained about his Kensington Stall.

“I mean, it’s really not that hard to turn up on time,” he said, talking about his business partner, “Especially not when you live as close to the market as Martin does.”

“Why don’t you get help from someone else? Or just, like, fire him?” Lillian asked.

“Yeah,” added Roger, “Like, does he even care?”

“He doesn’t seem to. I honestly don’t understand him sometimes.”

“Well,” the drummer continued, “If you want, I’ll help out, could do with a bit of extra money and it’s not too far for me, so if Martin doesn’t want to do it anymore, just kick him, and I’ll do it.”

“You know Roger, that’s actually a good suggestion.”

“Of course it is, I came up with it.”

And Brian added from the driver seat, “So we shouldn’t expect another one in the next week or so, his brain’s all worn out.”

Roger protested, but with a unanimous opinion forming against him, he eventually gave up, but he knew their intentions were not malicious. He then continues to complain about various things, as he did, putting strong emphasis on his lack of a current sex life.

“I mean, I’m not saying I need to get laid, I’m just saying it’d be nice to.”

“Because we really needed to know this Roger,” John said, “And what do you want us to do about it?”

Roger just shrugged. Grace spoke up, “I think it’s somebody else's turn to sleep with him.”

“My sex life isn’t a roulette wheel Gracie.”

“I’m just saying.”

“I think we could all do with getting laid,” Freddie said, “If anyone has any suggestions I’m open to pretty much anyone and anything.”

# # # # # #

They were grateful for the stop to stretch their legs. It wouldn’t be too bad in the back if it wasn’t for the musical instruments they shared the space will. The car park had a few cars parked but greatly spaced out. They stopped for snacks and drinks to keep them well. John paid for Lillian’s much to her displeasure, saying she didn't need him to pay. John smiled, said he knew that, but he was going to anyway. It was kind of him and Lillian couldn’t help but feel a tingle in her stomach. They switched seating arrangements when they returned. Freddie was to drive for a while, and Grace opted to sit up front with him. Roger sat next to Brian and Lillian sat next to John.

They ate as they travelled, Grace helping Freddie eat a sandwich while he drove. And they talked, Lillian and Brian holding a conversation about the importance and downsides of a formal education, John adding his opinion when he thought it was relevant and Roger doing the same, though their views often differed. But Roger clearly wasn’t able to focus his attention, and his eyes were drifting shut; he wasn’t built for early mornings. His head started wobbling and abruptly jolting up when he found himself falling asleep.

“You can sleep Rog,” Brian said, “We’ve still got quite some time before we get to Liverpool.” Roger didn’t seem to respond, and Brian being the considerate individual he was, gently pulled the drummer down so his head rested in his lap. “Just don’t dribble on me this time.” Roger hummed in response, but he pulled his legs up to lay across the length of the bench and his eyes comfortably closed. Lillian smiled at the two, as did John, and Brian just shrugged. “He gets sleepy a lot,” he whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you make resolutions at the start of each year? If you're making some this year, it's be cool to hear about them. Are they super specific or more general?? I'll probably set something like I did last year, which was to just to improve my art and writing, which I think I have, so I'm happy.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you have a good day, and a good tomorrow and a good year ahead.


	8. Leaving Home Ain't Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter for you, so I hope you enjoy!!

They dropped Grace off first before heading to drop Lily off at her folks too. She hopped out and told them that her and Grace would see them at the Cavern Club later, and that they’d get there with plenty of time before the gig actually started. The band said farewell and drove off. It’d be nice to see her family again, she’d only managed to get up to visit once since moving down to London, and her mother always complained it wasn’t enough, but she’d be back for an extended weekend so hopefully that will hold them off, Lily thought as she knocked on the front door.

After a few moments, the door swung over to reveal her mum, Helen, with a large smile. “Lillian, you’re back,” she said as she enveloped her daughter in a tight hug, and Lily chuckled.

“Yeah, mum, I’m back, at least for a while.”

It was hard for the family when she moved away, especially as she was an only child, but she had to go. It’s still hard for her mum, Lillian knew that, but she needed to remind her that she wouldn’t be staying forever. “I know, I know, but at least for a while. Oh come in, come in,” suddenly realising they were still just stood outside in British October weather.

They shuffled inside the warm home, the heat wrapping around her like her mum’s arms had moments ago. She dropped her bag by the bottom the stairs to take up later and entered the living room to see her dad, James. He was sat in his usual armchair with his newspaper and his glasses perched on the end of his noses, but his attention turned when she entered and he put the paper down with his glasses on top.

“Lily, sweetie, glad to see you again,” and he hugged her. He still smelt of the same tobacco as when she left.

“Hey dad, good to see you too.”

“Tea love?” Her mum asked.

“Please, thanks.”

Lillian sat on the couch and her dad sat back in his chair as her mum went to the kitchen to boil the kettle. He started asking how it was in London, saying it’s been a very long time since he’s been there himself, and Lily told him out it’d been having to adjust to a new city, new types of people, the new job, and everything else that was unfamiliar to her. Her job in a restaurant wasn’t the most glamourous and she had to real with some very rude individuals, but in general it was good, and there was no harm in flirting to get some extra tips, so everything was good. And they talked a little about Grace before her mum came back in with a tray of tea and biscuits. They continued to talk for a while.

“We should go out for dinner tonight,” Helen said, more to her husband but also as a general statement.

“Can’t tonight,” Lillian interjected before her mum could run away with the plans, “I’m going out. I told you about the gig tonight, didn’t I?”

“Possibly, but remind me.”

“Well, my friends are all in a band, called Queen, and they’re playing at the Cavern Club tonight. That’s why me and Grace are up anyway, to see them play. We’re going out tonight to watch them and then we’ll probably stay out for drinks. Not sure when I’ll be back.”

“Oh yes, you did mention. What’s their names again?”

“Freddie’s the singer, Brian’s the guitarist, Roger’s the drummer and John’s the bassist.”

“I remember,” said her father, “It was...Roger, that you mentioned dated Grace?”

“Yeah, it was Roger, but that was quite a while ago.”

Her parents enquired a little further about the band but not drastically so, not to feel like they were after a full profile, and Lillian told them what she could to keep the band in a good light; no need to tell them about Freddie trying to fight a guy who insulted his shoes, or Brian trying to fight a guy who said he looked like Isaac Newton, or Roger when he tried to fight a group of guys for a reason no one could remember – even John tried to have a go at a guy when the stranger criticised his playing, though in John’s defence he was drunk.

Lillian continued to talk with her family and they filled her in on everything she’d missed since moving, which was surprisingly a lot considering she hadn’t been gone that long, not really. They’d been two weddings, a funeral and birth. She missed a lot it seemed.

# # # # # #

She looked at herself in the full length mirror and couldn’t say she looked bad at all. There was something about the fact that she was on home turf, and the fact that it was one of Queen first big shows outside of London that really made her want to make a full effort, go the full nine yards as they say. Her black corduroy flares fit her well and were comfortable, but she loved the way they shaped her, and paired with the bright blue paisley t-shirt and chunky white boots, she couldn’t be missed.

But there was also something else, or someone else, that made her dress to impress. At this point, she couldn’t help but find herself falling, and falling hard, for John. There was just something about him that she found...she wasn’t quite sure of the best word to fit. There was the obvious point: he was physically attractive, intelligent and played in a band, but he was also such a sweet individual, kind and welcoming and also quite shy at times. He was so considerate, always taking the time to talk to her, and they often stood together after shows and smoke and chat. Over the months, they became more integrated into the full group, with John ow more at ease with his band mates and Lillian finding herself calling them all good and close friends, yet they still ended up gravitating towards each other. And she doubted at this point that the others hadn’t noticed, but they hadn’t said anything so maybe they didn’t think of it as beyond a friendship, and it wasn’t, she just kind of wanted it to be.

Lily wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted, but for now, what they had was still enough.

She checked herself over in the mirror one final time before heading downstairs after she deemed herself more than just presentable. She grabbed her bag, said goodbye to her family and not to worry if she didn’t come back as she’d probably just stay with Grace or one of the band members, and left. She met Grace as the end of her road and they walked together to the Cavern Club.

“You look nice,” Grace commented.

“Thank you for noticing.”

“This for John?”

“It’s not for John…”

“But if he happens to notice?”

“Well there’s no harm if he happens to notice.”

“Jeez Lil-”

“No, don’t do that,” she said as she playfully swatted her friend away, “There’s nothing wrong with dressing nice to catch someone attention.”

“I’m not saying there is, it’s just different for you.”

“What do you mean?”

Grace elaborated, “Well, you’ve always been one to dress nice for yourself, even if you’re not as flashy as me in your wardrobe choices,” which was true, “But you’ve always been one to say ‘well, if you don’t like the way I dress you can get lost because I’m not changing for you’.”

“I’m not changing Grace, I’m making an effort. There’s a difference.” Grace just rolled her eyes and in response, received a friendly punch from Lily, but both laughed. A good point was made, but it was irrelevant.

They arrived at the club early like promised, and it was still rather empty when they entered, and it was easy to spot the band on stage as they set up the equipment. Roger was fiddling with the drum kit, in no doubt an annoyed state at having to adjust the drums, and Freddie was carefully stood on by to ensure Roger remained calm. Brian and John were tuning their guitars on either side of the stage, carefully listening. Brian was listening to his guitar, bringing it up close to his ear, while John had sat himself directly in front of the amp to be able to hear it clearly without risking distracting Brian. The girls walked over and said hi, distracting them all.

“Hey, glad you got here early,” Brian said, “Freddie was wanting your opinion on something.”

“I do, but that can wait a moment as I must say you both look divine.”

Lily could feel the strong blush across her cheeks and thanked him for the extravagant compliment, and Grace thanked him as well. John nodded along to Freddie’s words as he made eye contact with Lillian, but he quickly averted his gaze back to his instrument. The girls were quickly wrangled up by the lead singer and swept back stage to their dressing room, a large open space with dividers.

“Which shirt do you think looks best with these pants?”

Freddie held up two shirts on hangers. One was an oversized button up shirt with black and white stripes running vertically down the full length, and the other was a tight fit white satin shirt with a plunging v-neck. Though both shirts were beautiful and both shirts would suit Freddie well, both girls pointed to the oversized button up.

“Thank you darlings. Let me change and you can see your decision in its full glory.” He took the shirt and shuffled his way behind one of the screens. His white tank top was flung over the top and seconds later Freddie returned dressed in the shirt. Grace told him to tuck it in and he did, and Lillian suggested leaving the cuffs open and keeping leaving half the front unbuttoned, and when he did that, they knew they’d made the right choice. He stood regally tall, and he really did look wonderful with black jeans and boots to match.

When the three of them returned back to the stage everything was pretty much as they left it, Roger now however finished adjusting the kit and was sat playing quietly. Brian was checking the amps, and John was still sat on the floor, playing over riffs and bass lines.

“Here, for after the show,” Brian said, handing over two laminated cards. One the card read ‘back stage’, then the guitarist added, “Just so you can get back to us after the show, and once the place empties out we can head out, go do something or just head back to our hotel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Queen instagram is @radio.deaky if you're ever interested in hitting me up for a chat :)


	9. Good Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, so soon? Yes.
> 
> Please enjoy!!

Despite the little plastic coated cards, the security guard seemed reluctant to let the girls passed. He’d scanned over the cards much longer than necessary, and kept asking questions like why they had them and how they knew the band, but eventually he seemed satisfied and let them passed. They made their way to the back room they’d been in before with Fred and knocked on the closed door. A loud ‘come in’ was heard through the wood and Grace twisted the door knob and opened it. All the band were there in various states of undress: Freddie had discarded his shirt over the back of a chair but that was all; Brian was still dressed only his shoes being removed; John sat wrapped in a dressing gown, his jeans still on but shoes gone and by the looks also his shirt; Roger was pulling his t-shirt off when they entered and seemed unfazed by the presence as to be expected.

“Hello,” Lillian said, drawing out the ending vowel, “Good show guys.”

“Thanks,” said Brian, “It seemed to go well for sure.”

“Definitely,” added Grace, closing the door behind them. The girls found themselves some chairs from the side of the room and pulled them further in, Lillian sitting down next to John and everyone started talking in conversations as they changed and packed away equipment. But John didn’t move, and when Lillian stopped talking with Brian, he spoke quietly to her.

“You, urm, look nice by the way.” Lillian turned to him, surprised but then smiled.

“Oh, thanks, you too, and your playing tonight was some of the best I’ve seen.”

He blushed and he was sure she could see it, but if she did, she was kind enough not to say anything. “We did alright?”

“You did brilliant John.”

And he blushed again. “Thank you.” He wanted to say that it was because he knew she was watching that he strived to play so well. He made some little slips in the show, missing a note or fretting the wrong string, each time because he’d look at her and she’d look at him and he’d get so distracted that he’d make a mistake. He wanted to say that he couldn’t help but little butterflies in his stomach when she smiled at him during the show, or she’d sing along to the songs with them. He felt silly sometimes, being this, for lack of a better term, love struck, but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t love, far too early for anything that serious, but he was already in deeper than he thought he would be, considering he only met her in July. He wanted to ask her if she wanted to go for dinner later, knowing she’d know the best food places around, just the two of them and sit and talk for hours.

Instead he just smiled before standing to change into his t-shirt and into some clean jeans. Lillian engaged again in conversation between them all, Freddie gifting her the shirt he wore on stage saying it would suit her brilliantly and she smiled and accepting. Then Freddie told her she must try it on and she smiled and laughed and John could help but smile at her as she trotted off behind one of the dividers. As Grace began arguing with Freddie about where her clothing gift was, and the singer retorted saying she had Roger as a spare wardrobe, roping him into the conversation. John watched them as they argued.

“Sometimes people are just so funny,” came Brian’s voice from John’s left, startling the youngest slightly.

“Yeah, they are, aren’t they.”

“I was talking about you, not them.” John frowned at this, and Brian only laughed. “You know if you ask her on a date she’ll say yes.” He was startled once again, but at least Brian had the decency to keep his voice down. “I’m not blind John, I can see how you look at her.”

“Then you know I don’t know what to say or how to say it.”

“Yeah I know, feelings can really change you.”

Lillian emerged from behind the screen, her colourful t-shirt in her hand and Freddie’s – now Lily’s – striped shirt on her body. She left the top two buttons left open and the shirt was untucked, engulfing her smaller frame.

“What do you think?” She gave a little spin, her arms brought up over her head. She’d left the sleeves open too.

“I told you it would suit you, but tuck it in darling.” She followed Fred’s instruction, and once she had, he made a few final adjustments himself, pulling as the fabric to pull it evenly loose around her. “There, perfect. Don’t you agree?” asking the group.

“Definitely,” Brian said. John nodded with a smile, and Lily returned it. “However, I would like it if we could go for food at some point, I’m starving.”

“So am I,” piped Roger, “Could eat a horse.”

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” said John.

“Don’t say that John, sounds like you’ve tried it.” John just shrugged before going to put his shoes on, leaving Roger confused but also concerned. “Okay then, but my point still stands, I’m hungry.”

“Agreed,” said Grace, “And I can suggest this awesome little place that does the best burgers and cheesy chips, and I’ve been dying to eat some.”

“Are we talking about Tony’s?” Lily asked.

“We are indeed.”

The boys looked confused at the girls sudden surge of energy, but their expectations were risen by this excitement, hoping for some good quality burgers and cheesy chips. Then Lily suddenly remembered, “And they do a pretty good veggie grill too,” speaking to Brian, who smiled at being remembered.

# # # # # #

By the time they got back to the hotel, they were all quite tired but wanted to stay up and talk a little more. Brian and Freddie were sharing a room and Roger and John sharing the other. They all piled into the elder’s room, sitting on the beds and talked.

John was quiet and he was happy to just sit there across from Lily. They talked about music and he couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm for The Beatles, and her pride at being from Liverpool too. And she looked so cute when she bounced up and down on the bed to emphasise her point, Grace agreeing wholeheartedly. He caught Brian’s gaze sometimes, him and the two girls sitting on the same bed, and Brian was make this face to him every time, his eyebrows slightly raised and a subtle smile playing across his lips, and each time John had to stifle an eye roll. They also talked about food and films and just general conversation and laughter.

But then Lillian was tired and ready to sleep, and John was too. The other all wanted to stay up later. Brian suggested, “Why don’t you guys go for the other room? Roger will be quiet when he comes in later, won’t you Rog?”

“Urm, yeah, I’ll try.” Judging by Brian’s subtle undertones, the guitarist was clearly getting at...something but Roger wasn’t quite sure. He made a mental note to ask later, or at least at some point.

“Thanks,” Lillian said, unfolding her legs and getting to her feet. She stretched up, clearly ready to sleep. John stood and led the way, the room only two down on the right. He was tired too, and ready to sleep; he wasn’t build for late nights like this, though he was getting more used to them being with the band, and especially since they’ve started gigging.

He opened the door and they entered. A chill hit them as they entered the room, the radiator not on and a lack of accumulated body heat, but it was tolerable, especially considered they were about to find themselves under a warm duvet. John dropped his shoes by the door and Lillian followed.

“I’m ready to sleep for the next few years it feels,” she said, and John sleepily nodded along. She quickly discarded her trousers, kicking them to the side of the bed and out of the way, and skilfully unhooked her bra and pulled it out from her sleeve, and she opted to leave the shirt on. John pulled his t-shirt from over his head, his hair getting in the way, and piling his jeans on top of them and thrown to land by his shoes, leaving him in his vest and underwear. They both slid themselves under the duvet of the double bed after John was kind enough to switch of the light.

“I know I said this earlier,” Lillian started, “But you guys played a really good show, especially you John.” He wasn’t quite sure what to say, knowing he’d only be repeating himself from earlier, so he didn’t say anything. Lily spoke again, “I’m still cold. Can I cuddle up?”

“Urm, yeah, yeah sure.” He shifted comfortably on his back as she moved a closer, until the point he felt her forehead against his shoulder and one of her arms comfortably drape across his stomach. “Sorry,” he said as he shifted again, adjusting his arm to be on the other side of her. Hesitantly, he brought his hand up against her back, though she didn’t seem to mind, just repositioning herself to be comfortable against his arm.

“Thanks,” she said. “Sleep well.”

“You too.”

John wasn’t sure why he was torturing himself like this. He wanted this of course, but not like this, he wanted something a bit more. It was silly he kept telling himself but he couldn’t help it. And now she was laying with her head on his shoulder and an arm around him, her pinky finger touching a tiny bit of exposed skin from his vest riding up, and it felt electric but also tender and soft. The more time he spent with her, the further he felt himself falling and yet he was stupid and just let it happened.

Despite being as tired as he was, he found that sleep eluded him for quite some time, her presence on him distracting. He twisted his body ever slightly towards hers, and he was able to better look at her face. She was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you hadn't noticed, this is kind of a slow burn sort of thing (which is what I'm best at) so like, yeah, honestly, they aren't directly hooking up soon, but stuff goes on for sure, so stick with it and I will love you forever, thanks :)


	10. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!! I'll try and post more often, but I can't make promises so yeah.
> 
> Please enjoy! :)

**October 30th, a late Saturday morning in Liverpool**

John woke up with a stiffness in his back that he didn’t remember being there when he went to bed, and he rolled his neck a little against his pillow. He was on his side, and as he began to wake up, he felt the warmth against his arm. When he managed to open his eyes and adjust to his surrounding, he found his body close to Lillian’s her back against his stomach and chest and his arm over her waist. He woke up very quickly realising that. Carefully, as it seemed she was still sleeping, he slipped himself away from her. The clock on the wall showed it was just passed ten. The others might be up, John thought, as he quietly grabbed his jeans from the floor and a fresh t-shirt from his bag. He rushed to dress and snuck out the door. He knocked quietly in case they were still asleep, but when he heard Brian’s voice call ‘come in’, he realised they were up, and he entered as commanded.

“Morning John,” Roger said, sat on a bed with Brian, both eating toast off a plate. Grace and Freddie sat on the other bed with their own breakfast. They were all in various states of undress, as they all so often seemed to be when they were together, with Roger in jeans and no shirt, Brian in a t-shirt and underwear and one sock, Freddie in a vest and shorts, and Grace in one of Roger’s borrowed t-shirts and high socks.

“Morning guys. Roger, did you even come back into the room last night?”

“No, I stayed here, didn’t want to risk waking you and Lil. Sleep alright though?”

“Yes, fine thanks.”

“Lillian up?” Brian asked.

“No, not yet.” He rubbed a hand down his face as he climbed onto the bed next to Grace. “Did you guys get room service?”

“Yeah,” Grace said. She held the plate she was sharing between Fred out to him, adn John took a slice of toast and began eating while the other all fell into chat. He was still struggling to wake up, but hopefully time, food and noise would help. It was only about twenty minutes later, John moving onto Brian and Roger’s toast, when a knock came at the door.

“Come in,” Brian called like last time, and in traipsed Lily, the shirt hanging off one shoulder and her hair rough and messy. She smiled lazily to the group, before climbing onto the bed with Brian and Rog, and laying stomach down with her face in the pillow. “Everything alright Lil?”

A muffled response came of what sounded like ‘tired’ but it wasn’t exactly clear. Brian patted her back in reassurance before turning back in, not much he can really help with. With the talk flowing again, she eventually rolled onto her back to be able to look as who was speaking but her view was obstructed but Roger. Instead of pulling herself up, she remained staring at Roger’s bare skin because there wasn’t much more to look at. They were talking, making plans for the day. The band were performing again that night, and Lillian was unsure whether she’d be able to make it. She wanted to, but she knew she hadn’t seen her family in a while and she knew her parents wanted to see her and spend some time with her. She wanted to see her family too, of course, and she missed them, but for some reason she knew she wanted to spend her time with Grace and the boys over her mum and dad.

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it,” she said. Heads whipped around to face her. Freddie, Grace and John appeared in the gap between Brian and Roger. They all looked partially offended.

“What, why?” Roger said, shifted so he could better see her.

“My family want to spend some time with me, you know, go for a meal. And I couldn’t last night and I don’t want to ignore them.”

“Oh come on Lil just-”

“Shut up Roger,” Freddie interrupted, and then leaned to fully see Lillian, “Ignore him darling, he’s just got attachment issues. You go spend time with you family, they’re important.”

“Thanks Fred.”

“What about you Grace? Family?”

“I’ll still make it. Me and my family aren’t super close, and they still have my brother to pester if they want.”

“It’ll be nice to still have you there.”

“I’ll try to make it,” said Lillian, “I want to come, so I’ll try to make it down there after dinner, or if we go for lunch, I’ll be there tonight for sure, but I’m just not sure what’s going on today.”

“Don’t worry too much,” Brian inputted, “If you can make it, that’s great. If not, don’t worry, we’ll survive.”

Lily chuckled but nodded anyway. She pushed herself upright and shuffled herself between the boys, “Thanks Bri,” she said, and her head gentle dropped onto his shoulder. Brian smiled and nodded, gently resting on his head atop of hers briefly before sitting back up again. He looked over to Roger and gave a disapproving shake, but the smile on his lips meant nothing serious.

They talked, Lillian seemingly drifting in and out of consciousness on Brian’s shoulder, for about the next hour. Lillian knew she had to move at some point but she was just so comfy. As they all hung out, she noticed John was quiet and fiddling with his hands in his lap. He’d look up and she’d smile at him and he’d smile back, but it was different from before, not quite as bright as she’d seen it in the passed.

Eventually she did move, pulling herself up and off the bed. John had to let her into the room she she could dress. He smiled politely before leaving again. Something was up, but she wasn’t sure what. She returned to the room a few minutes later, her t-shirt from the previous night tucked into her back trouser pocket, and she looked slightly more what would be considered presentable. Grace had gotten dressed while she was gone, and the girls went around hugging the band and giving kisses on the cheek, saying goodbye and to hopefully see them tonight. The girls left and talked on the way back.

“So you and John?” Grace said.

Lillian chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Don’t start that again, please.”

“What? You guys shared the same bed, I’m curious to see if anything happened.”

“Nothing happened, calm down.”

“Did you even try to make a move?”

“What do you want me to do Grace? Ask him out? Kiss him?”

“Ideally both, sleep with him if you want, I don’t mind.”

“Jeez.” Lily sometimes wondered whether she needed new friends. She shouldn’t of told Grace about this crush on John, but she did, and now she never hears the end of it. They walked and Grace continued away.

“I mean, as long as you're safe that it.”

“Wow.”

“And he treats you to a nice date too.”

“You need to stop.”

“But I’m having so much fun.”


	11. Son and Daughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update for you, and with a slightly longer chapter so please enjoy!!

The late dinner with her family had been nice, but had gone on a little longer that she would’ve wanted, whether she had a gig to go to or not. She knew her parents loved her but sometimes it was hard to see when they complained about her life choices to much. She could deal with them talking bad about her decision to move to London, she was an only child and she understood where they were coming from sometimes. So often though they complained about her dropping out of university, saying she was smart enough to get through it. They weren’t trying to offend her, Lillian knew that, but hearing it didn’t make her feel anything but of a failure. She tried to tell them to stop politely, that it wasn’t the time and she didn’t want to talk about it, but they didn’t listen and they’d continue away; Lillian never really wanted to have to listen to them talk about how good she could be doing if she just stayed in school.

But the dinner finished eventually and they headed home. She told them she was going out and they seemed less disappointed now that they’d managed to spend some time with her. Managing to slip that shirt Fred gave her in the wash, she cleaned up and got ready, waiting for that shirt. Once it was washed and dried she put it on, the fabric still warm and it felt nice having it wrapped around her, and she paired it with a black mini skirt and chunky boots. She pulled back her hair into a neat and slick pony, something different for a change, and pulled on a jacket. Grabbing the last few things she needed, she headed out the door with smiles and goodbyes for the family, saying she’d probably end up staying out again.

She knew by the time she got there they’d already be playing, they were probably already playing as she walked, but hopefully she’d be able to catch the majority of the show. She knew the set list, she knew the songs, but she enjoyed listening to them every time nonetheless. They were getting better and Lillian hoped someone would sign them soon. They’d managed to record two songs, were writing a third and needed a forth before they’d have a full demo to start handing out, but they didn’t stop them, Freddie in particular, from going around to record labels trying to see the band without any music. He wasn’t doing so well at convincing them, but something should truly be said for determination – he’d been escorted of the premises of all but two of the approached companies. 

She found herself thinking of some words Freddie had told her when she asked about it all. He’d said to her; “Darling, I thrive in the faces of those who think we won’t make it.” Those words had stuck with her, and she couldn’t help but smile as she thought of them.

The Cavern Club was busy as it always was, especially on a Saturday night, and as she approached the venue, she could hear the sound of Queen emanating. Brian’s whaling guitar was heard over the voices of the crowd as she pushed herself in, and found herself stuck at the back like she’d expected. Lillian had hoped to be proved wrong but she wasn’t, though she knew she’d still enjoy herself. In the sea of people, it was impossible to try and spot Grace anywhere, she just hoped to find her after the show to know what was going on. One song finished and the crowd applauded and a few cheers irradiated from them also.

Freddie spoke into the mic:

“We have something very special for you tonight, something we really haven’t played live in quite some time, and never with our lovely Deaky. That is about to change my darlings.” He was always so extravagant in his words and Lillian couldn’t help but smile, never wanting that to change.

“Tonight, we play for you...Son and Daughter.”

The song began with heavy guitar strums and three part harmonies the liked Lillian had never heard. A steady and driving rhythm was pumped through the song by the kick drum and bass, and the guitar honed in a melody that perfectly accompanied the lead vocals. Elegance and aggression fit so well alongside each other in the lyrics and it sounded as if they were always meant to be instead of opposites. The voices of Roger, Freddie and Brian all slotting together was wonderful to hear. She’d hear it before in other songs, and she knew they wrote this, but this song was perfectly designed for their voices to work in harmony together and to compliment each other in a way no other song did, Lillian thought.

She found herself getting lost in the words and the flow, almost forgetting the other people in the club; it felt like it was only her with them and their music. She felt engulfed by the sound and she couldn’t deny how good it felt. What kept her reminded of the people around her was the way she had to keep adjusting to have a steady and constant view of John.

His head moved smoothly along with the song as his fingers worked the strings. He rocked back and forth on his heels as he played, his movements free from anxious constraints that normally worked their way around him at such busy shows. She couldn’t help but watch him and him alone. She knew the others were talents and were doing such a brilliant job, but her eyes always found their way to John and she couldn’t complain at the wonderful sight she was always met with. Then the song started speeding up, John leading the pace, his eyes glancing between each member to judge them and understand their reactions, making sure they could see him and allowing him to give them those vital, non-verbal cues.

She wished he could see her, as she was entranced by him and only needed to know if he was okay with that.

# # # # # #

The break room was quieter than the night before, the band looking more tired than usual after a gig. She knocked and Brian’s voice came like it did, and she entered. They all smiled and made their way over for a welcoming hug.

“I’m glad you made it,” Brian said.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t be the same without you,” added Roger.

She was happy to see them and hugged them all in turn. When she asked where Grace was, they said she’d just stepped out for a smoke break and said she’d be back in soon. Lillian took a seat on the couch against the back wall while they all resumed their conversation, their tones exhausted, and she was just happy to listen because she felt just as tired as they sounded. She started drifting off when Grace came in beaming, and greeted her, but quickly started an argument with Roger about something petty – it was something that was clearly started before Grace left – and Lily just didn’t have the energy to try and figure out what they were talking about. John was sat on the other couch, off to the side, and when she smiled at him, he smiled back, but something seemed a little off.

She stood and moved to sit beside him, the couch dipping with her wait. “You alright?” She asked, her voice quiet and barely audible above the others.

“Yeah.” There was something in his voice that didn’t settle quite right with her, like he wasn’t telling her everything, being a little dishonest in his attempted reassurance. She was not reassured, but she knew she couldn’t force him to tell her anything.

“You sure? You don’t seem fully with it.”

“Just tired,” he replied.

“Rest if you want,” and raised one shoulder a little as indication, but he shook his head. His eyebrows were furrowed as if something about her offer wasn’t quite right. They fell into quiet before she managed to add. “You did really well tonight.”

“Thanks.” There was a sadness in his tone.

“You shone so bright in Son and Daughter. I’m amazed you haven’t done that one before.” He offered a weak smile in terms of a response. Something wasn’t right, it was obvious now. Then is fell quiet again.

Lillian watched as Roger rambled on about needing some new equipment, new percussion he said, arms flailing in his stupid way, and Grace had a look on her face that she really didn’t care, this over engaged face as a way of mocking. Brian wasn’t even able to fake his enthusiasm, claiming “Roger, no one cares about you maracas,” with Roger getting rather grumpy about it.

John seemed rigid against her, their arms touching – they were often in contact when sitting together – but he just seemed so tense. He spoke eventually, drawing her back to him. “What did you think of Brian’s performance tonight?”

“He was good, rocked the guitar solo obviously.” If it was possible, he became even more tense. He couldn’t be comfortable she thought. Was he...jealous? That didn’t seem right, but his strange behaviour started earlier that day when she was resting on Brian’s shoulder. And she was also close to Brian but...He had no reason to be jealous. If he was, she doubted she’d be able to get him to actually say it. She shuffled to rest her head on his shoulder; he didn’t loosen up. “I mean, you were all good, but I couldn’t take my eyes off you the whole night. Trust me, you were stunning.”

She couldn’t see his face, but she could feel his head turn towards hers, and slowly, the tension in his body began to dissolve. John seemed a bit better, as least she hoped, and he slid down the couch so she needn't crane her neck so sharply. She was quite comfortable, and if it were just the two them in the room, Lillian was sure she would’ve fallen asleep, but the others were still loud and rowdy, but that wasn’t anything new. Eventually the group collectively decided to leave and go back to the hotel after Brian prompted them, saying they should get back and rest well for their long drive back the next day.

They left. John stayed with Lillian, allowing her to clutch onto his arm as them walked, and he kept the pace slow, falling behind the others slightly to better deal with her in her sleep state. The others managed to put enough distance between them to quietly talk.

“I have to ask because at this point I’m just lost,” Roger started, “So, John likes Lil?”

“It’s obvious Rog,” replied Brian.

“And she likes him?”

“Yes,” Grace said.

“So why aren’t they, you know, doing something about it? They slept in the same bed, when I went it to get my toothbrush and clothes, they were cuddling, so why aren’t they hooking up?”

Brian shugged, “I don’t know, but it’s going to annoy me if they don’t sort it out. They’re clearly interested in each other but just too shy to do anything about it really. I really hoped it wouldn’t come to the point where we’d have to help them.”

“We must help them,” Freddie chimed in, “We just can’t let this tragedy continue.”


	12. A Kind of Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, and I really like this one so enjoy!

**December 31st 1971, late on the years final Friday**

Lillian made a mental note to somehow thank Roger’s flatmates for staying over New Years at their family’s place for an extended holiday season. Thanks to them they got to have a flat party at Rog’s to celebrate the ending of the year. Grace was probably more excited, the more social of the two in general, but with Lillian finding good friendship in all the band, she was still looking forward to it.

They walked down the road to Roger’s building and buzzed the com. “Yeah?” Came the drummers loud voice.

“It’s us, let us in.”

“I’ll send down Brian, the door locker’s fucked.” And the line went dead.

The girls kept out of the way of the street. There were more people out tonight than usual but that was expected on New Years Eve, and in London. People came out in droves to fill bars and restaurants and, like them, go to a friends to drink until the new year came. The building door opened and they turned to see Brian, nicely dressed in a white button up and black jeans. His bright, mismatching socks only added to his style.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said, stepping aside to let them in, “Door’s broken. You look nice though,” he added. They both thanked him. He wasn’t wrong either. Lillian had gone simple; a long t-shirt cinched around the waist with a belt and knee high platforms – not something she would wear everyday, but for a flat party where was wanted to look cute but also be comfortable, it was ideal. Grace went with black flares and white silk shirt tied around her waist with the buttons left mostly undone. The three of them walked back up to Roger’s and before they were inside they could hear the loud and heavy music playing, and Roger and Freddie singing along at the top of their voices. They entered the flat at be assaulted by sound, but when the two singing heard the door, there cheers with smiles and bottles of beer in a hand each.

“Gracie, Lillian, nice to see you,” Roger said. The tipsy boys wandered over to hug the girls, and after he’d done so, Roger slung an arm over Brian’s shoulder and led the taller man over to the kitchen counter which consisted of alcohol, mixers and some food to pick at throughout the night. Grace quickly followed, spying the tall bottle of vodka, and Lily only laughed at her friend. Freddie lingered by her side before gently putting an arm around her shoulder.

“So glad you made it darling. John said he’d be getting here a little late but should still be here,” he said, “But for the time being, let’s drink.”

And drink they did, with music playing from a cassette in Roger’s collection, not dare risking his vinyl. Roger was already the most intoxicated, slightly tipsy but far from drunk, and was already hanging off Brian with a toothy smile. Brian, like usual, didn’t seem to mind, and was also smiling away. Lillian wondered if Brian was aware of the way Roger looked at him, all heart eyes and with this air of wonder. If he was aware, he was much better at hiding whatever feelings he had regarding the blond than Roger was about the brunet.

Freddie handed her a bottle of cider, easing her in and she was grateful, and the full drinking began. They had about an hour of music and alcohol before the buzzer sounded the presence of another human, and Roger answered. It was John, as expected, and Lillian was send down to let him in. She didn’t mind really, getting to see John was never a bother, so she headed down the stairs with a light spring in her step.

It had started raining since her and Grace had arrived, and John was stood with his jacket pulled over her head to stop him getting too wet. Lily opened the door, the lock sticking slight, and John seemed happy to see her and to be invited out of the rain. She hugged him, but quickly recoiled from his wet clothes, and she couldn’t help notice how his expression changed when she pulled away so suddenly, though he seemed to quickly realise why and the warm smile returned. She looked him up and down a moment.

“You look good,” she said, and a blush formed across his cheeks. He did, with a black button up exposing his collarbones and chest, and matched with a white waistcoat, pants and blazer jacket, now in his hand, and she had to admit he looked rather nice.

“Oh, urm, thank you. So do you.” And she did, though John doubted there was a time he’d ever thought otherwise. She smiled at the compliment.

“Thanks,” she replied. She took a hold of his wrist and started pulling him up the stairs. “Come on, it’s party time.”

He had no choice but to be dragged, but by her, he really wasn’t bothered, and they entered Roger’s apartment with the music still blaring. Despite not being gone that long, it seemed so much had changed within that time, as they walked into Roger and Freddie cheering encouragements to Brian and Grace as they competed to see who could finished their drink the quickest. And despite his efforts, Brian ultimately lost. Grace was far too proud of herself, Lillian thought, but clapped and cheered like the rest of them. The group only then saw the Lily had returned with John in toe and went to greet the young bass player.

The night continued with drinks and music and talking and laughter. Roger kept challenging people to drinking contests, especially Brian because he was most confident about beating the guitarist, which only spurred Brian on further when he agreed to said contests. Roger out drank him easily. Freddie danced upon the furniture, and nobody expected anything less than a full show, and he happily delivered, belting out the lyrics as he did so. The drinking was key however to the whole night, a focus as when one went to top up their cup, the rest decided they needed to do the same, and then they’d spend the next ten minute at least all stood around the drinks talking and seeing who could chug a pint the quickest. Roger and Freddie were dead even. Surprisingly, John was not too far off.

At some point, they switched from the cassettes to the radio, and before they knew it, it was less than ten minutes until the new year, until 1972. They were all excited for what lie ahead, if not a little nervous for the pressures and expectations put upon them all. “What’s everyone’s New Year’s resolutions?” Grace asked as they all sat across the furniture, or in Roger’s case, sat on Brian who sat across the furniture.

“Fame and fortune,” Freddie said accompanied with extravagant hand gestures, nearly spilling the wine in his glass.

“Let’s just work on getting the album out first,” said Brian, his words with a slight slip to them as they left his mouth, who then shrugged, “Guess that’s mine then.”

“Well, that was mine,” Roger said, and upon Lillian explaining that multiple people can have the same goal, Roger shouted, “No! That can’t be.” For someone who was surely more drunk that Brian, and who definitely acted more drunk, his words and voice was more stable, if not also amplified. “Hmm, how about...oh I don’t know, how about finally getting a degree?”

“Well, if you work hard, then sure, but you’ve still got another year.” He groaned it response to Lily, who then added, “You’re the one that changed course.”

“I know, I know, don’t remind me.” They all laughed. “Look, everyone makes mistakes, but it’ll be fine once I get the degree, and it’ll be fine, I know the stuff.”

Brian chimed, “Yeah, but you’re just too wrapped up in the music to pay attention.”

“Not all of us can be like you Mister PhD.”

“That’s Doctor PhD to you.”

They all laughed again, and Roger gave a half-arsed attempt to wriggle his way out of Brian’s lap, but all Brian had to do was lock his fingers together lightly around Roger’s waist and the drummer very quickly gave up and flopped back into Brian’s chest and shoulder. “And you John?” Lillian asked.

“I’m not really sure, I don’t usually make resolutions.”

“And why not?” Freddie asked.

“Well, I used to, but I was never very good at keeping them, and at some point I just stopped doing it.”

“We should change that then,” Lily said, stretching her feet out cross Freddie and laying her head in John’s lap to look at him. Her head was spinning a little, this mild fuzz always present – it was a strong combination the alcohol and her affections for him – and she smiled up to him, her eyes making strong creases. John couldn’t help but smile back, a soft little chuckle escaping his lips. “So what would you like to achieve in the next year John?” She asked.

He thought but nothing much came to mind. Maybe some courage, he thought, to ask her on a date, to kiss her. He’d need some more courage if he wished to act on his feelings, but he found he just couldn’t yet. “I’m not sure really, just...to be happy really.”

“Well that’s something,” Roger said, and Brian nodded along.

“Nothing more grand darling?” asked Fred, looking somewhat concerned in his drunkard state. 

“Not that I can think of. I’m not a grand type of person.”

More drinks were had, the group hovering around the kitchen and discussing other resolutions for 1972, Grace saying she just wanted to make it to the end of her school year and get a better job so she wouldn’t have to go home in the summer. The music from the radio played in the background as they talked, but it eventually faded away and an voice went floating through the air of Roger’s flat. And the countdown began from thirty.

Roger galloped his way over to the radio and cranked up the volume so they could all better hear the presenters voice, matched with the sound of cheering crowds through the line, recorded and broadcast live as the country counted down. The group filled up their glasses to the brim do strong liquor or a mix of whatever was on the table, or drank from a bottle whatever was best and easiest for them, the countdown kept getting closer and closer. Lillian, with a bottle of cider, wobbled slightly into John who was stood to her right, and he caught her against his chest. They both chuckled, his cup of an alcoholic mix spilling slightly over the rim and onto his hand and the laminate flooring. The radio continued in the counting:

10

“Get ready guys,” Roger said. 

9

“For the best year,” 

8

“Of our lives!” 

7

They was a roar of cheers at Roger’s optimistic speech, drinks spilling over cups slightly, everyone with beaming smiles, filled with excitement for what Roger promised.

6

Brian wobbled slightly, stumbling into Roger when he took a step, and Roger was there to support him with an arm around his waist. Brian reciprocated with the affecting by slinging an arm lazily around the drummer’s shoulders.

5

Lily was shouting along with the countdown, they all were, this expectant chant for the future. She looked up to John on her right, and he was shoulting the number, his body swaying from side to side every time he called out.

4

She leant into him, a hand coming up around his back and hooking onto his side, pulling them closer together. He looked down with a smile and laughed a little, a sweet and soft laugh, she thought.

3

Their eyes held contact a little longer than necessary or expected, and John couldn’t help but melt in hers, the warmth of her golden brown eyes enveloping him.

2

The number stopped being shouted, then stopped being said altogether as she looked up at him. She smile shifted, once wide and cheesy, now falling but not in sadness but in affection, His eyes reminded her of stormy skies, but with him, it never seemed like it would rain on them. She could feel the blush creep up her neck, but she didn’t seem to mind too much as his cheeks were also dusted in pink.

1

His eyes fell to her lips, slightly chapped from the colder than average weather, yet somehow soft, and pink. She was smiling, the corners curling up so sweetly, and it made his stomach twist and turn and somersault, and it was the most wonderful feeling.

Happy New Year!

The radio cracked with the speakers being pushed to their limits, voices screaming out. Cheers came from not only the radio but from the street below, the open window letting in the joy of the people outside and from building across and next door. John looked back to Lillian’s eyes and he couldn’t help but notice her gaze matched where his once was on her. He twisted his body closer towards her, now better facing her.

“Happy New Year Lily,” he said, his voice inaudible to everyone in the room but her.

His smiled down to her kept the blush growing. She matched his volume and warmth. “Happy New Year John.” She found herself stretching up and leaning in slowly, the action feeling right and what she wanted to do. She wanted to kiss him, to hold him and send the start of the new year in his arms.

Her head whipped round, his whipping up, the a crash, and Freddie stood rigid in the kitchen. Around him, shattered glass and what was half a bottle of vodka slipped across the flooring. Grace was stood near him, her bottle wrapped tightly by two hands, as if making sure any blame was pushed far away from her.

Lillian didn’t dare true Freddie in his drunkard state – though she was also drunk – to clean the mess up without hurting himself in the process, or managing to break anything else, so she quickly, but reluctantly, pulled herself away from John, setting his cup down on the kitchen counter, and went to help clean up the mess.

The silence that had settled when Freddie dropped the bottle quickly broke when Roger shouted out, “Happy New Year,” followed by Brian repeating him. They were still hanging off each other, both flushed slightly red in the warm apartment, but made no attempt to move to help clean up the mess. Freddie tried to help, but Grace just gently ushered him to the couch to sit down, and then returned to help tidy the mess.

John found himself staying in place, somehow not finding his feet moving to the couch or chair, or towards the kitchen. He looked at Lillian, crouching on her feet and picking up the large chunks of glass and placing it in an empty plastic biscuit tray, and his heart deflated slightly. He wasn’t sad or disappointed, but just...maybe he was those. He wasn’t sure when he’d have the courage, or be drunk enough, to dare try again. But he still smiled. Despite this slight saddening feeling, just looking at her could lift his heart. And he was just happy to know her; she’d changed his life in all these small little ways, like how to make the best scrambled eggs or the best way to fold his clothes, and he couldn’t imagine the year ahead without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought!


	13. Some Day One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update so soon? Yeppp, so you're welcome aha.
> 
> But do please enjoy this lovely aftermath of the previous night.

**January 1st 1972, the following Saturday**

It wasn’t the worse hangover he’d ever had, but Roger also knew he’d felt better. His head was pounding and his vision was still trying to adjust to the sheer amount of sunlight streaming in, but he was slowing waking up. He tried to prop himself up on his elbow, but he found himself quickly falling back into the mattress. Weight shifted under his other arm, only really then realising it was slung over the body of someone else. Blinking to adjust his eyes further, he then realised he was curled into the back of Brian, who was still soundly sleeping. As he shifted his own weight, pulling himself away, Brian stirred. Roger held his breath, but luckily the guitarist remained asleep. Roger managed to escape the room, though he wobbled when he stood and his head still head like hell, and wander into the main room.

Expecting it to be empty despite it approaching noon, he was surprised to see Lillian in the kitchen stretching up and looking through one of the cupboards.

“Morning,” he said, startling her slightly, his voice dry and more gravelly than normal.

“Hey, was just grabbing a mug, going to make some tea. Want some?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Then can you tell me where the tea bags are?”

He chuckled, but his head only throbbed, so he quickly stopped. Though coffee would probably help more, he much rather preferred the taste of tea in the morning. He pulled open the cupboard and pulled out the tin with the word ‘TEA’ scrawled across in bold black marker; Lillian thought it looked a lot like Roger’s handwriting. She plucked out two tea bags and placed them in the mugs while Roger was kind enough to fill the kettle and set it to boil. He then pulled out one of the draws and retrieved his aspirin. He downed two, using a leftover cup and water from the tap, before offering the bottle to her.

“Thanks,” she said, taking the bottle happily as well as the water, and she also took two. She assumed, judging by how much they drank, that he was dealing with a much worse hangover than her, but he did drink more frequently. His slightly glazed eyes however did assure her his handover was worse, and as the kettle boiled, she tidies a little around the flat since they hadn’t before they crashed. She picked up a few stay cups and empty bottles, sticking them in the bin. When the kettle boiled, she poured in the water while Roger received the sugar and milk. Once their tea was perfected, they wandered over to the couch to talk about the night before.

“You remember much?” Roger asked. He turned in to face her, his face leaning on his hand being supported by his arm on the back of the couch. She copied his action.

“Pretty sure I remember it all honestly, you?”

“Bits and pieces...I think.”

“What do you remember then?”

“I remember...we talked about resolutions; I remember shouting about something about that.”

“Yeah, I said you could have the same resolution as Brian and you said no.”

“Oh yeah, I remember now. And I remember challenging people to drinking contests. Did I win them?”

“All of them. You kept challenging Brian-”

“Because I knew I could beat him.” His enthusiasm and raised voice made him groan. “I’m glad I beat him. Okay so what else?...urm, oh dance contests too. I have a feeling I lost those to Freddie.”

“Right again. He really did go for it too, though you also did.”

“Well, if my reputations at stake.” He gave a wink from behind his mug.

“I’m pretty sure your reputation’s been ruined.”

Roger chuckled. “And I remember the countdown, it was pretty loud, and we were all shouting and counting and then it hit the new year and…” Roger’s face fell blank, his mouth hung out, as if searching his mind for something. Lillian grabbed the tea from his hand when she saw his fingers relax slightly, scared he’d spill it on himself and her and the couch. He snapped back then.

“Roger, you alright?” She asked.

“Urm, possibly, maybe, not sure,” he said, all words of even weight. “I, urm, I kissed Brian.”

She looked shocked. “W-What?”

“Well,” he began, “We were counting down, and I had my arm around him and...his arm was over my shoulder, you know, support. And then it hit the new year, and...well you know how it is, you kiss people on New Years, and apparently I just thought I’d stick with the tradition.” His voice raised at the end, like he was frustrated at his own actions.

“And?”

“And what?”

“Well, you know, did he kiss you back, all that stuff?”

“I...can’t remember that.”

“Really?” She sounded both shocked and dumbfounded by that.

“I remember Fred dropping something.”

“That happened straight after, like, seconds after Rog.”

“Well,” was all Roger managed before his faced shifted into an existential crisis. His mouth opened and closed with no sound coming out except for quiet croaks, as if wanted to speak but struggling to get the words out. Lillian was looking, waiting for something, but Roger was unable to give her anything, and she had a feeling she might know why.

“Roger,” she said, keeping her voice warm, “How do you feel about Brian?” And before the drummer could protest or lie or worm his way out of the question, she added, “And be honest with me.”

He could’ve still easily lied to her, said he’s just freaked because Brian’s best friend, that it would affect the band’s relationship, affect the way they work together, make things awkward for the others. But Roger was defeated. He told the truth, as best he could, even if he still wasn’t sure of everything.

“I urm...I’m not sure, but it’s something, I know that much. I don’t know what it is, I don’t get it, you know, but I look at him and…”

“Everything seems just a little bit brighter?”

The mild shock on Roger’s face from the perfect explanation quickly faded and was replaced with a small but warm smile. He nodded. “Yeah, just like that. You talked to John?”

She was mildly surprised, but not massively. Maybe Grace told him, maybe she was just obvious, but she shook her head. “No. I’m not really sure how.”

“You should.”

“I-”

“Trust me alright, I know stuff.”

“So do I. Talk to Brian.”

Roger didn’t say anything, just looked at her, before reaching back for his tea. It had cooled a bit since it’d be taken from his grasp but was still drinkable, and downed the rest of the cup instantly before setting back on the coffee table. Lillian drank from hers, finishing it also, and took their mugs to the sink to wash later. She heard footsteps, and out from one of the bedroom emerged Freddie, tired and wobbly. He smiled once he noticed her stood there.

“Morning Fred,” she said.

“Morning dear, you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Roger’s on the couch.” Freddie turned and saw the drummer, who offered a lazy wave as a greeting and Freddie returned the courtesy. Lillian, anticipating his needs, filling a glass with water and setting it down on the counter next to the aspirin. He was grateful and took two.

“You both been up a while?”

“Not really, no,” Roger said.

“I miss anything?” Freddie looked to her for an answer.

She saw Roger’s panicked expression behind Fred, and his quick head shakes, silently pleading for her to keep their discussion private. Lillian shook her head, “Nope, just usual stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Maylor, kind of a thing...or they will be...eventually...I think...Anyway, how did you feel about the slight shift of perspective in that first part of the chapter? Would you like more of that? I've been trying to write a more balanced story, with a good amount from Lillian and John's perspective, so I hope that's coming across, and there's more of that anyway. But yeah, would you like to see some more little bits written from Roger's perspective? Maybe Brian or Freddie? Grace??
> 
> We'll see what happens, I'm just about to finished writing chapter 18 as I'm posting this so get ready for some interesting stuff aha, especially in the next chapter; it's one of my favourites!


	14. Save Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update!...later than I intended...sorry, but it's here now so yay!
> 
> Please enjoy!

January 18th 1972, Tuesday afternoon-turning-evening

John wasn’t sure how long it had been going, but for whatever length of time it was, it was more than necessary. They were paying for this studio time to record an album, yet all they did was argue. Or more accurately, Brian and Roger argued, their creative differences vast and varying, and Freddie stood on hand close by, trying to break it up and weighing in when he felt like it. John wasn’t sure how much more he could take of it. His head was aching, he was tired and hungry and he wanted to go home but he didn’t want to be alone.

As the others continued to argue, he stood, not fast and heated, not slow and cautious, but he stood as he normally would, not drawing extra attention to himself, and he walked out the room then he walked out the building and onto the street. When his feet his the concrete, he felt his pace speed up, pushing him forward in any direction. He stopped after a while of aimlessly walking, and his breathing was heavier than he thought it would be. Now what? As he scanned the area, he spotted a pay phone and walked over.

Slotting in the change, he dialled and it rang. Quite soon after the tone began, the line was brought to life.

_“Hello?”_

“Hi, Lillian, it’s, urm, it’s John,” he said, keeping his tone as even as he could despite the stutter.

_“Oh hey John, I thought you guys were doing recording today.”_

“Yeah, sort of. Urm, weird question, but are you home?”

_“I’m home, yeah, why?”_

“Is it alright if I come over?”

_“Sure. When should I expect you?”_

“About...probably twenty minutes.”

_“No problem, I’ll keep an ear out for the buzzer.”_

“Thank you. I’ll see you then.”

She said goodbye as he hung the phone back on the receiver, and he began walking in the direction of her building. The street was easy to find, and even if he’d forgotten the building number, he couldn’t forget the brightly painted green door standing out from all the blacks in the street. He managed to catch someone leaving as he was entering and slipped in without having to ring the buzzer, and he made his way up the stairs to her apartment.

# # # # # #

She filled the kettle and put it to boil as she put away the clean dishes, all but two mugs. The radio was quietly playing some music in the background, The Beatles, and she quietly sang to herself as tidied around the connected kitchen and living room. The apartment wasn’t dirty, just a little disorganised, with random textbooks in random places, and a few cups and mugs on the coffee table form the previous day or so. She folded the blanket and draped it across the back of one of the chairs.

There was a knock at the door which made her head turn, slightly confused as she walked to open it. When she did, she saw John stood there, a small and awkward smile on his face, fingers locked together in front of him.

“Hi,” he said, sounding so much more timid than he normally did.

“Hey. You didn’t buzz, I was confused.” Lillian stepped aside and motioned for John to enter. He mumbled a quiet thank you as he did so, and she closed the door behind him.

“I managed to catch it when someone was leaving, so I didn’t need to.”

“Tea?”

“Please, thank you.”

She wandered to the kitchen and put a teabag in each mug before pouring in the boiling water. John lingered slightly at the door before taking hesitant steps to follow her. “So, I thought you guys were in the studio recording.”

“You’re half right.” She frowned as she handed him the mug with a spoon in, and he thanked her, and she continued to stare at him until he offered an explanation. He flushed slightly under her gaze. “Well, we were in the studio, but we weren’t doing much recording; they were just arguing again and I...I just had enough for today.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, can imagine it’s tough,” and he nodded back, his fingers curling tightly around the mug he held like it was the only thing he had. It fell quiet, Lillian unable to find words to reassure him that it’d be alright and John unable to find words to reassure her that he was alright. Then John spoke in a defeated tone, doubtful of himself and the band close to him.

“Do you actually think we’ll be able to do it?”

“Do what?” She asked while matching his volume.

“Get anywhere with this. Every session has an argument that stops our progress for...for however long and I just don’t understand how we’re supposed to be a band if we don’t get along.”

“You guys get along.”

“On stage yeah, playing stuff that’s written. And we can change that whenever we want, but what’s on an album is permanent, and they’ll argue about who’s song is better, who has the better lyrics, who’s track is the single, who’s is the b-side – we haven’t even finished the album and there having these argument – and…” He sighed and took a sip of his tea, “I just don’t see it going anyway if it continues like this.” His tone had elevated, the frustration clear, and then he signed and sounded so defeated yet again.

Lillian reached out a hand to rest gently on his arm. “It’ll be fine. Sometimes people just don’t get along a hundred percent of the time but that’s life. Think of the things you have written and performed and the people love you guys.”

“But for how long when all we do is argue? I only wanted something to do on the weekends, not struggling to get by, putting all my money into these studio sessions then get nothing done because all they do is shout at each other and I end up at home hungry and with a headache.”

He spoke more than he intended, his volume rising and his tone heating, but that’s not what he intended to do when he asked Lillian if he could come round. He had no intentions, he just wanted company, sick and tired of being surrounded by negativity for the day, John just wanted to relax with a friend. But when he looked up at her, there was something on her face, this expression of concern that he wasn’t expecting, that made him think he’d crossed the line.

She spoke hesitantly, “Struggling to get by? Going home hungry? John, how bad is it getting?”

He hadn’t even realised what he’d said until then, something that slipped out because it was all connected really. John didn’t say anything, unable to think of how to answer. With hesitation now gone, Lillian set her mug of tea down and led John to the couch, not allowing him any protest, and they say down twisting to face each other. “What aren’t you telling me? Please let me help if I can.”

Lillian had this wonderful and monstrous ability to turn him into a mess whether he liked it or not, to be completely and utterly at her will, but at least she never asked for much, only honest conversation. Her head tilted to the side and eyes calming, and he answered her.

“Well, studio time’s expensive. We already sold the van, and we’ve all been contributing wages and any extra money we had, but with all the arguments, we’ve been needing more time that we expected, which means more money, and…” He did feel hesitant about going on, but Lillian reached out and rested a warm hand on his leg, and a gentle smile that he couldn’t say no to. “It’s just...there’s only so much everyone can put in, and the others say they’ve put in all they could, and they were all just so enthusiastic about it that I just, sort of, put the rest in.”

“How much was the rest?”

“More that I could afford really...I really do want this to work Lil, you know. I want us to do well and get this album out and it’d be great if we could be successful, so I just sort of did it without thinking, and now I’m screwed.”

She shuffled a little closer at his wavering tone. “How bad John?”

“It’s...manageable, but it’s not ideal. It’ll be better once it warms up, smaller heating bill.” He tried to laugh it off, but even he could tell it sounded forced. The mug of tea was lifted away from his hands and set on the coffee table, John’s eyes following the mug, then looking up to hers as she took his hands comfortably in hers.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want you worrying.”

“Too late,” she smiled but she was serious when she said, “We’ll sort something.”

“Like what? It’s not like we can get my money back.”

Lillian thought. She had a feeling John just wouldn’t accept money from her directly, if he would’ve, he probably would’ve come to her sooner, even to just borrow a fiver, but he hadn’t. And she needed to know that whatever they did to sort this, it’d work, and he’d be alright and he could eat without worry. She had an idea, the best she could think of, but she was unsure how he’d feel about it, knowing he hated feeling like he was imposing.

“Move in here,” she said, and before he could object, she continued. “Look, I know it’s only a two bedroom, but we could sort something out, and I know Grace wouldn’t mind so that’s not a issue. And we’re still close to your work and the schools so that wouldn’t change, and the rent will be cheaper, it’ll be cheaper for all three of us so there’ll be more for everything else, and it just makes sense John.”

He didn’t say anything at first, thinking it all over, before he slowly nodded. “It’s an option.”

“No, not an option, the solution.”

Her adamancy made him smile, and he found himself nodding again. “Okay, but I don’t want to get in the way.”

“You won’t, I promise you that.”

He was surprisingly acceptant of her suggestion, more than she’d expected, which only further highlighted how bad his situation must truly be. She squeezed his hands before pulling him towards her and she met him in the middle, enveloping him in a hug the best she could from their positions on the couch. She could hear his little chuckle as she did so, and his arms wrapping themselves around her.

“Thank you,” he said, speaking into her hair.

“I’ll always help you the best I can.”

The ringing of the phone pulled them apart. Reluctantly, John let her stand and get the phone. He was grateful to her, and to Grace though things were yet to be confirmed, for allowing him to stay. Things weren’t great, but he was sure they could be worse as well. But Lillian wanted to help, and he just couldn’t say no. He’d try his best to not burden her, of course he would, be he was just nervous he might end up doing it without realising.

On her way to grab the phone, Lillian picked up the mug of now lukewarm tea and set it by the side of the sink. “Hello?”

_“Lil, it’s Roger.”_

“Oh hey Rog,” she said, her eyes flickering over to John who sat looking rather nervous. “What’s up?”

_“You don’t happen to know where John is do you?”_

“John?” The young man in question vigorously shook his head, silently pleading to not disclose his location. “No, sorry. Has something happened?”

_“It’s just he left the studio at some point and didn’t tell us where he was going, thought you might know is all.”_

“Nothing, sorry Roger, but I’ll let you know if I find anything out.”

He thanked her before hanging up. She hooked the phone back on the receiver on the wall. She looked to John, who was giving her a small but warm and thankful smile, and she sent one back, sympathetic. He clearly just wanted peace, and that was the least she could do for him; he looked like he was ready to just fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally wrote this chapter before I'd written chapter 3, I just had this idea stuck in my head. I really like this chapter personally, one of my favourites. I've also written another one ages ago, but that's not going to work anymore but oh well. Maybe if I just change it a little it'll work...hmm.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you thought.  
> Give me your predictions on what chapter their first kiss will happen aha.


	15. You and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a late update, but update nonetheless.
> 
> Please enjoy!!

**January 21st 1972, a clear Friday morning**

Lillian was thankful John managed to convince the bad to lend the van for the day. It would’ve been great if they could’ve also helped, but John said he’d asked when he saw them and they told him they were all busy. And Grace was in class all day too, so she couldn’t help. Lillian didn’t mind too much, she did get to spend more time with John after all.

They spent most of the rest of the day together until John had to head back to the studio and grab his bass. He was reluctant to go, reluctant to run into the band and try to explain his little disappearing act, but Lillian offered to walk back with him. He was thankful but said no, that he just wanted a bit of fresh air on his own. She understood. As soon as he left, Lillian knew that he offer was a mistake. Not in the most obvious way, but she knew that if she ever had a hope of getting over him, then offering to let him live with her certainly wasn’t the right move. She wasn’t regretful though, just knew that things might be a little more challenging for her when he’d always be in such close proximity. Though there was a warm and fuzzy feeling in her stomach that told her she looked forward to it.

Her and Grace had been friends since high school, and they were comfortable with each other: hands on each other’s lower backs to carefully pass the other; sleeping in the same bed curled up against each other; casually holding hands when lazily listening to music on the couch. She was close with John, but she wanted that with him. She wanted more too but didn’t know how going about it would work. And now she was too scared to try and mess everything up.

They loaded the last of the boxes into the van. He didn’t have a lot to take, clothes mainly, some kitchen supplies, his bass and amp, but John seemed to live a life with few solid material items that were a constant for him. She didn’t mind, it made moving easier. They closed everything up before jumping in the front. John drove. The instant the engine started, music began blaring for the cassette player, one of Roger’s most likely – it was heavy with loud and prominent drums. They turned it down but left in on, something to fill the quiet between them. John didn’t mind being in silence with her, he didn’t mind quiet much at all in general, but with her, there never felt any pressure to try and make conversation. Roger’s music filled the front cabin. Lillian found herself leaning against the window, tapping her fingers on her thigh, allowing herself to be distracted by everything from nothing.

Pulling up, they parked and quickly began pulling boxed from the van. John had to fish her keys out her jean pocket for her as her hands were full, and he was kind enough to hold open the door to help her in. The decided to get everything up there before they started moving things into their new homes.

“There,” she said, slightly out of breath, “All done.” Lily turned to John with a smile, and with drama in her tone and mannerisms said, “Welcome home.”

John chuckled, head dropping down to look at his shoes. He was home now. He lived there. It was still hard to comprehend, and he was just glad he was able to move out of his old place so soon; his landlord seemed to care little about him and any place in London was in demand so he knew he’d get someone in very quickly to fill John’s vacancy.

“Yeah...yeah I guess you’re right.”

“We’ll get you the key cut this weekend, and then, you know, it’s all official and that.”

“Thank you again, it-”

“Yeah, I know, you’ve thanked me enough John.” She smiled. He seemed nervous, anxious, so she approached him and held onto his arms, gentle shaking him, “It’s all alright now, relax.” Being told to relax didn’t really help, but for her, he’d try. They started shifting boxes around. They’d talked about stuff in the time between, but the thought resurfaced when he was deciding where to move his clothes to. “In there,” Lily said casual, pointing, pulling plates from a box and pulling them in the cupboard.

“But that’s your room.”

“Yours, or ours, or whatever works best, just stick them in there.” He couldn’t argue because there was no other real solution unless he wanted to turn the living room into his closet, so he nodded and carried the box in his arms to the bedroom, setting them at the foot of the bed. John wasn’t sure how he liked the sound of it being their bedroom. He would’ve liked it more under different circumstances. But he continued to move the boxes in like instructed. His bass and amp were given a comfortable little corner to live, and Lillian even moved a side table and chair to make sure he had enough room to bop around in.

They managed to get everything unpacked and put away much quicker than either of them had thought, but they still had his clothes to sort out. Lillian noticed that John seemed...reluctant, for lack of a better word, when they moved to the bedroom. He didn’t have a lot, nowhere near as much as she did – she didn’t even wear half the things in her wardrobe – so she knew they’d have to do some shifting to get everything in neatly. John set about unpacking all the boxes and putting the clothes on the bed, upon her instruction, while Lily went though hers quickly, pulling out things she knew she wouldn’t miss.

Eventually, when all his stuff was hung up or put away in draws, it still took up less than half of the space. “Done,” she said, a smile beaming from her, and John knew he was blushing but she luckily wasn’t looking his was.

# # # # # #

It was late, and they both were quite tired from the busy day. When Grace had gotten home from college, she enthusiastically greeted John, practically jumping upon him and hugging him. He was taken aback, but happy to return the hug; it felt nice to feel this wanted. They’d stayed in from dinner but ordered some food from a nearby restaurant and ate together, sat on the floor around the coffee table with music playing in the background. Despite his initial concerns, John found himself fitting in quite well to their dynamic, not feeling out of place, but included. They spoke to him directly and he felt comfortable just added in the odd comment or a full chunk of words, and he never felt like he was doing something wrong.

They stayed up late talking but Grace was tired – some professor giving her a hard time – and bid them farewell. John knew he needed a good sleep, Queen were playing again tomorrow; he was lucky there weren’t playing that night or things would’ve been more hectic. They were playing most weeks now, if now all, either Fridays or Saturdays or both. They’d managed some gigs in the middle of the week too, and even those had large turnouts. Live performances were going good but studio work was a different story. John decided not to think about that or he’d never get to sleep.

He helped clear everything up despite Lillian saying he didn’t need to. He was honestly trying to put off sleeping, not knowing the arrangements, but he followed her to the bedroom anyway. He’d left the t-shirt he sleeps in at the end of the bed, and she grabbed her from the bottom draw of one of the side tables. John only then seemed to realise how exposed he’d be in just boxers and a t-shirt, yet despite this, he generally felt alright about it, at ease because it was her. Not in a weird way, it was just he felt comfortable around her, like she wouldn’t judge him for anything.

They both changed, neither seeing much of an issue being in the same room with each other while doing so. Lillian turned to him, “So how we going to work this?”

“Urm, well, I’m happy to sleep on the couch,” he offered, but she shot him down quickly.

“No. You are not sleeping on the couch and that’s that.”

“I’ve done it before.”

“That was different. You’d already fallen asleep and I didn’t want to move you. But you’re awake now so you’re sleeping in the bed.”

“Well, it’s your bed, so you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

She shrugged. “It’s a double bed, I mean, it doesn’t bother me.” He knew what she was asking, and he nodded.

“I don’t mind either.” He gave a small smile, and they proceeded to climb into the bed together. It was awkward, that wasn’t it, John thought, but there was something in his stomach that was unsettled. The sheets were cold. “Mind if I shuffle up?” His voice was weaker and more timid that he wanted it to sound, but she didn’t seem to be bothered.

“Not at all.” Her tone was light and warm. He shuffled a little, and she was kind enough to meet him more than halfway, sensing his reluctance and nervous energy. He laid on his back with she shuffled and curled into his side. He wrapped an arm around her and she fell comfortably across his shoulder. Their legs very quickly tangled themselves together.

Lillian liked this, she felt comfortable against him, and not just physically. There was something about John was was just calming and he put her at peace, yet he gave her that warm feeling in her stomach that she craved when he wasn’t there. She was in deep, she knew that, and with their situation now, she knew there was no way to escape.

He struggled to keep his breathing even, for her sake when her head rested against his chest. In the darkness, he couldn’t really see her, but in his head he could picture every feature in perfect detail; he got lost in her eyes so often he needed to make a map if he wanted any hope of getting out. He wasn’t always sure he wanted to be free. 

Lillian knew she was in love with John Richard Deacon.

John knew he was in love with Lillian Mae Foster.


	16. Rain Must Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! So...this one, bare with, is a little...bland? Not much happens really. It was going to be shorter, so originally this chapter, and the next, were going to just be one, but then it would be, like, super long, which I'm sure you would've of minded so much, but I did, so I'll post the next chapter tomorrow instead, so keep a look out.
> 
> But for now, please enjoy this. It may be a little bland but you still need to read it for the next chapter to make sense aha.

**February 9th 1972, light rain on a Wednesday**

It wasn’t raining when she left the flat. It wasn’t heavy enough to warrant an umbrella even if she had one, and she didn’t mind too much as it was warmer than she’d expected, especially considering it was winter. Her coat was large and oversized, big enough to keep the paper bags from soaking up any water. She approached the building, the big gold letter signing in the sun, and she shuffled inside. Freddie and Roger’s stall was on the third floor of Kensington Market, so Lillian hauled her arse up stairs to kept to them. Roger didn’t have classes on Thursday and he was thankful of that, but he never complained about working on his day off; Roger enjoyed working with Fred and at the stall.

Lillian found them there, Fred in discussions with a customer and Roger sat in his collapsable wooden chair, feet crossed at the ankles up on a table, watching them. She managed to slip through a rack of fur coats, behinds them and then slid round the side. In a strong, swift motion, she slammed a hand onto Roger’s shoulder, scaring him into letting out a yelp and wobbling on his chair, bringing his feet back to the floor. When his head whipped round and his eyes met hers and her beaming and proud smile, he relaxed.

“Fuck me Lil. What are you trying to kill me?”

“No and maybe in the future.”

Roger frowned, not quite sure what answer went with what he said, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out either. Freddie had turned upon hearing Roger’s screech, and the customer jumping and looked rather confused, but Freddie just smiled. “Oh Lillian dear, you’re here at last.”

“You knew she was coming?” Roger asked, sounding mildly offended.

Freddie turned back to the customer but spoke to Roger. “Who do you think invited her for a late lunch?” She pulled the paper bags out in front of Roger’s face, waving them about; he was hypnotized by the food.

“Oh good, I’m starved. ” He lunged for the bags with his hands but Lily was quicker, hoisting them back in the air and out of his reach. She gave a smug smile and stepped round him. The customer paid for their shirt before leaving, giving further confused looked, and Lillian began opening the bags to hand out the sandwiches.

“For you Fred,” handing him what he'd asked for. “Mine,” she said as she peered into the next one. Roger was looking impatient. The next bag was his and she handed it to him without bothering to check the contents and he didn't seem to mind, ripping open the bag to get to the food. She pulled off her coat and dumped it round the side on top of theirs, afraid if she hung it somewhere, it’d be sold. They sat around on the chairs, none of which looks the same, and the wobbly table and ate and talked. 

“So how is everything?” Roger asked, mouth full of sandwich, “It's been…a week since I last saw you?” He nearly choked as he spoke, and had to cover his mouth with his hand.

Lillian was much more polite, and waiting until she’d finished her bite before speaking. “Yeah, everything's been good, same as usual. Grace has been working hard as always.”

“And the new job?”

She'd only been there about two and a half weeks. “Better, so much better. Better pay, better tips, better music, better hours, and less weirdos so everything's perfect.”

“Glad you're enjoying it dear,” Freddie said, covering his mouth to hide the food unlike Roger first had. “That old place of yours is really missing out now.” And Lillian just chuckled. “But thank god you’ve let though, I couldn’t stand that place.” And she laughed again.

“I mean, I didn’t mind it,” Roger added, “But still glad you’ve moved. If one more person spoke bad to you I was going to have to fight them.”

“I’d like to see you try Rog,” she said. He looked offended.

“Anyway,” continued Freddie, “We’ll have to come down there sometime and eat.”

“Not while I’m on shift or I’ll never get any work done.”

“But where would be the fun in that?” His devilish grin was a cause for concern. Lets home they didn’t ask Grace about her shift times, because knowing them, they’d turn up, or loud and...themselves, and she’d be apologising for a week at least. She loved them though.

They continued eating and talking. The boys caught her up on how the business had been going, which was actually really good; ever since the new year the market had been busier in general, and that also rang true for their stall. They talked about band practise, telling how it’d been but she knew most of it anyway, John had told her. She mention that her and John had lunch the previous day while his work was closed due to broken pipes, and Roger decided to pry.

“So, how is this thing going with you and John?”

She just sort of shrugged with a small smile. “There is no thing, you guys need to stop, you’re all terrible.” Roger huffed a little and Freddie just gave her a knowing look. “And things are fine I guess. He’s settling in well, quicker than I thought honestly, and we’re making it work even if it’s a bit tight space wise.”

Freddie and Roger exchanged confused glances before the older of the two spoke up, “Settled in?”

“Yeah, like, he’s still getting used to having constant company and all but…” She quietly trailed off where their confused expressions didn’t lessen. “Do you not know what I’m talking about?”

“Should we?” Freddie asked.

Oh. “I just assumed he’d told you.”

“Told us what?” Roger was getting slightly frustrated with the cryptic responses; his attention had left his lunch and his sandwich lay unattended on the ripped open paper bag.

“John moved in with me and Grace.” They exchanged looks again so she continued to explain, “Well,” and then she stopped herself. Maybe there was a reason he hadn’t told them. Maybe he didn’t want them knowing about his financial situation, which was understandable in a way, if he didn’t want them worrying. Maybe he was scared to be judged? He should have no shame, but that wasn’t the point. “Yeah, he’s moved in with us. Just more convenient and stuff. I just thought he’d told you because we borrowed the van the other week to move his stuff.”

“That’s why he took the van,” the drummer said, connecting pieces together in his head. “He asked for the van but didn’t tell us what for, and when he came to get the keys from me, I asked him again and he just said he needed a vehicle to go see a friend and the van was the best option.”

“Oh.” Pieces then began clicking for Lillian, “He told me you guys were busy and weren’t able to help, but I guess he just didn’t tell you. I wonder why.” She wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not, but she decided she wasn’t. John was a calculated person, he did things for a reason, so he must’ve had a valid reason to not tell them. It rose concern in her though. Was there something he was hiding from her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, not the most thrilling, but I'll make up for it, I promise ;)


	17. It's Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update so soon? Yes, you know why? Because it's VALENTINES DAY!
> 
> Thought it would be nice to, you know, share their growing romance on this day because...well, I'm single, so I'm living vicariously through my stories and characters...but yeah.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!!

When she got home, John was stood in the kitchen making a cup of tea. The radio was on, she noted, like it often seemed to be. He smiled at her when he saw her step in. “Tea?” He offered and she nodded her head. She pulled her jacket off and kicked off her shoes, lining them up neatly by the door for the next day. Since getting accustomed to his new surrounding, John was doing well, or at least, Lillian assumed he was. Why wouldn’t he tell the band? Maybe it was just the finances that made him keep it a secret, but she couldn’t help but feel it was her fault that he hid it.

She lingered a little before joining John in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter. The radio was one, a song she didn’t recognise, playing softly between them; even though he was the only one home, he still kept the music at a reasonable volume.

“Do you like living here John?” She asked. He stopped what he was doing, hand out with the tea, and she took it from him. He looked confused and mildly shocked that she would ask.

“Of course. You’ve been so grateful to let me stay, and we get along really well, don’t you think?” The nervousness was present most at the end of the sentence. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I had lunch with Freddie and Roger today and found out they didn’t know we lived together.” His jaw clenched. “They didn’t even know you’d moved.” He didn’t say anything. “I just assumed you’d told them.”

John couldn’t bare to make eye contact with her. “Urm,” he managed, staring at his hands wrapped tightly around the mug. He couldn’t get any words out, not that he knew what he wanted to say.

“John?” He was expecting offence or anger in her voice, but she seemed to only sound concerned. “If you’re worried about them knowing about your financial situation, they don’t, I didn’t tell them. But if something’s wrong, you need to tell me; I want to help.”

John couldn’t believe how amazing she was. She just found out that he’d basically avoided telling the band where he lived and she’s automatically more concerned for him that anything else. There were a few little reasons he didn’t tell the others. The finances were one, and he was ever grateful that she managed to keep that from them, but there was also knowing their general response. He knew Freddie and Roger would act like goof balls, get excited and assume all sorts of things, and Brian would do the same just inwardly, which he’d be thankful for, but he wouldn’t be able to deal with the looks they’d give him whenever he was in six feet of her.

He wanted to say he couldn’t tell them because they’d probably let it slip that he liked her and then everything would be a mess.

“John, I’m worried.” He’d spaced out entirely, her voice grounding him and bring him back to her. She looked so concerned – he wasn’t sure how long he’d just been stood there – but he gave her a weak smile in an attempt to reassure her. He didn’t think it really worked, judging by how she looked back at him, her expression unwavering. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

There was, he thought. There were many. He hadn’t told her that when she was up and out of bed before him, he’d shuffle over or swap their pillows round just so he could continue to smell her, which he knew was strange, but she was like safety to him, this warming support that he craved when she wasn’t nearby. He hadn’t told her that he sometimes like to use her shampoo too, because it reminded him of her. He hadn’t told her that he gets so much joy from see the smile on her face when he does even the smallest of things for her, like make her a cup of tea or make the bed in the morning. He hadn’t told her that sometimes, as much as he hated to admit it, he didn’t hear a word she said, or anyone said around them, because he was completely lost when he looked at her. He hadn’t told her that he just wanted to hold her and not let go; she was perfect to him, and he was scared sometimes that he’d lose her and then he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

“I like you,” was all he managed.

It was only after a few seconds of silence that he dared look up to Lillian. She looked at him with furrowed brows and confused expression. “I like you a lot,” he added without really thinking. He watched as her face as it shifted from confusion to realisation, all he features relaxing, her mouth falling open ever slightly.

“Oh,” she said, her voice dropping in both volume and tone. John didn't quite know what to make of it, but he knew it wasn't good. It was like the sound you make when you realise your mistake. 

His hands unclasped around the mug and he pushed away from the counter and from her, but his fingers still caught the porcelain and small drops of tea flung from the edge. “Let's just ignore that I said that,” he said as he started pacing around the living room. He spoke quickly and panicked. “Let's pretend that didn't happen and let things go back to normal.”

“John-”

He was stuttering, barely getting the words out from his mouth. “And if things go back to normal it'll all be fine and-”

“John-”

“-that way I can stay here because-”

“John!-”

“-I really do like living here, with you and Grace and you’re so kind to me and-”

His quickening ramble of excuses and hope was cute short when hands on his arms spun him around and he was pulled down. His lips made contact with hers and he was too stunned to move, to react in any way. Before he could fully comprehend it was even a kiss, it was over. Lillian pulled herself back but kept her hands on John, and she looked up, tilting her head. John found himself suddenly unable to speak, so he was glad she did it first. 

“I tried to get your attention, but you weren't listening. I though that was probably the best way to shut you up.” There was no aggression in her voice like he'd expected, no exasperation, no frustration. She was as warm and as kind as she ever was. There was a gentle smile on her face. “I like you too John,” she said after a pause, “I like you a lot.”

“You...you do?” His voice was hopeful but he clearly wasn’t believing what he was hearing. John was struggling to keep a hold of himself.

“Yes,” she replied, still warm and soft, “I’ve liked for quite a while, I just...I didn’t know if you felt the same way is all.”

It took him a moment to speak. “So, we wasted time because we were too awkward to talk about it?” And she chuckled, one he mirrored.

“Something like that it seems, yeah.”

Tension he only then realised he was holding, though he wasn’t surprised, left his body. He felt her hands slip from his arms and they just stood in front of each other. It was awkward, but not in a bad way, this nervous energy between them that neither knew quite what to do to get it to go away. Lillian had kissed him on impulse, she didn't really think about what she was doing, but now she was thinking, her mind wouldn’t stop running, as they were stood inches apart. Neither of them were making eye contact and part of her found that funny; they were always so comfortable around together and now, when they should be as close as they’ve ever been, she found a wall between them she didn’t know how to break down.

John swallowed hard. His hand reached up slowly and came to her cheek. He was hesitant, unsure of his action, but he did it. She looked up to him then, a crooked smile across her lips.

“I…” He began, “I’m not great at...you know, relationship and...people sometimes, not really speaking up when I should, but…” He trailed off, not finding words to quite fit what he wanted to say.

Still with hesitation, he leant down, so close their breath mingling together. He closed his eyes, wanting to make that final move, but he somehow found himself unable to close that final bit of distance. His heart was beating like mad, ready to rip from his chest and he was struggling to breath, but for once, he didn’t really mind. It wasn’t long before she did it for him. They connected again, and although John knew it was going to happen, it still didn’t quite feel real. Her hands carefully came up around his body, her hands settling on the small of his back, while his other hand rest against her waist. All movements seemed calculated but he knew they weren’t, at least not from him, yet is all seemed right. The kiss wasn’t fleeting like the last; it was slower and warmer and just felt...different, like everything was pouring out of him, everything he was feeling was melting into her. Lillian twisted herself slightly to allow better access. John couldn’t help but smile. He ruined the mood, as when he smiled so did she, and then they both started giggling like they were kids again.

Their lips disconnected. Lillian pulled him closer to their bodies were pressed together and she hugged him, turned comfortably into his body with her cheek against his chest. His arms wrapped around her shoulder and held her close, still not quite believing what had happened. He’d want this, wanted her, for so long, and now she was in his arms and he couldn’t quite believe it.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” she said after some time, just enjoying being in his arms like this. Her voice was so quiet that if he wasn’t right next to her, the words would go unheard.

“Me too,” he replied, matching her, “And a few other things.” The boldness of his statement made her chuckle and wrap her arms around him tighter. He was surprised he was able to get away with it, and as she pulled him closer, so tightened his arms around her too. The radio was still playing, the song something she didn’t know, but it was mellow and relaxed, and she began swaying ever slightly. John met her with no resistance, a smile on his face that she couldn’t see. Slowly, they began adjusting themselves to be facing each other. Her arms came up to rest across his shoulders and her fingers linked behind his neck. Both his hands shifted to her waist comfortably. 

One hand slipped forward and rested against his face, her thumb moving gently across his cheekbone. Something shifted in her face, the silly grin she’d been wearing being replaced with something smaller; he couldn’t quite read what the smile meant.

“What?” He asked, a soft curiosity ghosting through his speech.

“Nothing.”

“There’s something.”

“Just you John,” was all she said, and the smile on his face suddenly reflected hers. They kissed again, and John would’ve been happy to stay in that moment for the rest of his life, except the front door began opening, which they were stood in line with, and Grace entered. Both John and Lillian pulled their lips apart instantly, but it was not quick enough for Grace to completely see nothing at all. She looked at them shocked for a moment, before a smile grew on her lips.

“About fucking time,” she said, stepped in and closing the door behind her.

John turned back to Lily for an explanation. “She may have known how I felt about you. I mean, I may have told her. And Roger knows, but not sure how that happened. And if he knows then he’s probably told the rest of them if they didn’t tell him.”

“Oh,” he said with relief, though he wasn’t sure why he was relieved. “I hope you’re not offended that I didn’t tell the guys, though I’m pretty sure Brian knows.”

“Not offended at all.”

Grace said from the kitchen, “Are these your cold cups of tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT FINALLY HAPPENED OMG THEY KISSED WHOOP.
> 
> Was it worth the wait? Did you like how it happened? Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and I liked writing it because finally, they're moving forward with some romance, whoop!
> 
> Also, because I've posted two so close together, it might be a little while until the next one, but you understand why this one had to be posted on Valentines day, you know.


	18. She Makes Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a little while, but here's an update and I really hope you enjoy where this story is headed!

**February 10th 1972, early Thursday morning**

John woke up with a familiar weight against him. He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the light coming in from the thin cracks in the curtains, and looked down to Lillian, her head on his chest. He laid there thinking that though they’d slept like this most nights, on top of each other or curled up together, suddenly everything felt just a little different. He gently kissed the top of her head, but he regretted it when she slowly stirred awake.

“Sorry,” he said, soft and quiet but dry and gravelly.

“It’s fine,” she replied, her eyes still closed as she snuggled back into him. “What time is it?”

He looked at the clock. “Twenty past eight.” She groaned and he chuckled. “At least you’re working the late shift tonight,” he added.

“Very true, and I’m very grateful I don’t have to get up yet.” She adjusted herself to look at him, her chin resting against he chest. “Is it this Monday you start your new job?”

“Yeah.” He’d lost his job when the repair shop he worked at went out of business. It wasn’t the best paying job but he enjoyed his work, helping people out. But they didn’t get much business, not as much as they needed, which at the time John liked – it had given him plenty of time to fiddle with his own projects using their equipment – but when it meant the place had to be shut down, he liked it a lot less. Luckily, his old boss had recommended a place for him elsewhere, and John was grateful to be able to get a new job so quickly. At least money wasn’t as much of an issue anymore.

“Grace will be up, she’s got early class, but once she’s gone we’ll have the place to ourselves, at least until I gotta get up for work.” A smirk grew across her lips as she leaned forward to kiss him which he returned, though he wasn’t sure what she was expecting out of him. She shifted herself again so her body was against his, one leg slotted between his. “I should probably get up though, I doubt I’m going to fall back asleep and I’m hungry.”

“But I’m comfortable,” John pleaded, bringing his arms up and linking his hands securely behind her against the small of her back, “And you’re keeping me warm.” The little smile on his face made Lillian give up very quickly.

“Fine, I’ll stay for a while,” though she wasn’t really upset with the decision, “but only for you.” He hummed in contempt at her comment as it settled comfortably within him. They settled into a cosy silence for a while. From outside the room, they heard something fall and hit the tile of the kitchen followed by a muffled curse. “Well, there’s Grace.”

“Thought she’d of gone by now.”

“She’ll be running late, probably why she dropped whatever it was anyway. Just hope she picked it up,” and John chuckled, the vibrations from his chest travelling through her. After some more quiet she asked, “Any plans for the day?”

“Well,” and she instantly heard the hesitation in his voice, “I was thinking, if you wanted, we could go on a date? Or, or something like that, if you want.”

“Why would I not want that?” She looked up to him when she spoke. His expression was soft but cautious, scared to say the wrong thing or overstep a boundary he didn’t know about. He looked worried about having to answer her question, so she did it for him. She brought a hand up to rest in the side of his cheek. “I would very much like a date John.” His lips that were previous pressed into a thin line relaxed into a smile, showing his adorable little tooth gap. His eyes beamed.

“What would you like to do?”

“Surprise me.” The worried look returned to his face. “Relax,” she said, her tumb moving across his cheekbone.

“But I want it to be perfect.”

“It will be, just pick something. It doesn’t have to be...you know, grant or anything. No money needs to be spent.”

“But you deserve the best.”

“And I have that, right here.” She leant forward and kissed him, a slight smile growing across his lips before it fell so his full attention was on their connected lips and every movement. “Surprise me,” she said again through small breaks of contect. He didn’t want to speak, to limit the kiss, so just nodded with small quick movements, and continued moving against her.

“Tea?” She asked when they finally did break, and he nodded, but instantly regretted it when she pushed herself off of him to go make them the hot drinks. She managed to pull on a pair of black leggings in an attempt to keep out the morning cold, though she wasn’t fully successful, before shuffling out of the room. She glanced back at John who’d pulled the duvet up and around his head and chuckled.

There was a pot on the counter that was normally kept on the stove and Lily assumed that was what had been knocked to the floor earlier that morning – the handle was often sticking out in the way and Lillian found herself catching on it often. She filled the kettle and set it to boil before searching around for some clean mugs; Lillian made a mental note to tidy around the place. 

As she was grabbing the box of teabags, she heard the soft pad of feet from behind her. John had decided it wasn't worth staying in bed without her, and had pulled himself out. He'd managed to find some pajama pants that he only ever wore around the flat and pulled them on, but they were too big and hanging loosely around his hips. His shirt had rode up at some point and he'd neglected to adjust it, so there was a small band of visit skin enclosed by the rolled up hem of the shirt and the navy elastic of his boxers. John's hair was a mess, as it often was when he woke up, sticking up and tangled at the back. Across his face, he wore a tired but goofy smile as he approached her. 

He really was something in the morning, Lillian though as she smiled back at him. “Decided to join me?” Her tone teasing. He managed to hum out a yes, still clearly not fully awake, and she chuckled. She turned back to the counter, popping a teabag in each mug. When she turned to John again, he was leaning back against the counter behind her. He looked as if he'd fall asleep where he stood. “Go back to bed,” she said, gently pushing on his arm but he only swayed, his feet remaining rooted on the tile. 

“I'm fine,” John managed, words slightly more relaxed than normal. She wasn't convinced but had a feeling he wouldn't leave without her. 

“Sure,” she said, sarcasm dripping, but she turned to stretch up and kiss his cheek. His eyes that were mostly closed and no longer paying attention, perked open, surprised by the unexpected contact. He kept his ‘deer in headlights’ look for a moment before breaking into a smile.

The kettle boiled and she went to pouring the water into mugs. Hesitant hands settled on her waist from behind. To reassure him, she places her hands atop of his, pushing them into her gently, letting him know his actions were welcome and wanted. He seemed to understand that and shuffled closer to her, his chest against her back and head appearing over her shoulder.

His hands had been on her waist before, in passing or to steady her drunk or just because they were friends sometimes in contact, but now they were...whatever it was that they were, he felt he suddenly needed to re-evaluate all the boundaries that had previously been set up, not that they had many to begin – they were both very open with each other and John cherished that. John was playing with a different set of rules he didn’t quite understand yet. He hoped with her help, he'd get there. 

His chin rested against her shoulder, John having to lean down for the action, as he watched her stir the tea. “Are you sure you don't have any preference for what we do today?” He asked, still nervous for the decision to be his alone. 

“Not really. Maybe keep it indoors though, it's cold out.”

“I can work with that.”

She twisted slightly, holding his tea out, and he pulled away to take. He leant against the counter next to her and smiled. He was lucky, he knew that. Someone like her having an interest in someone like him. He tried not to think about it too much because otherwise he’d start doubting it all and he wanted to badly to let it all be, so that’s what he did. If she says she cares, then she cares. John felt very lucky to have her by his side.


	19. You Take My Breath Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been a while. Very sorry. I'll explain a little in the end note about why it's been so long and what's going on with the story and all that, so for now, please enjoy this chapter. it's quite simple and soft and domestic, but yeah, have this for now.

The air was cold as Lillian said it would be. The tights on her legs didn’t offer her as much warmth as she would’ve liked, but her upper body was well insulated and she was sure that would be enough. Lillian took advantage of the large pockets on John’s coat, which he had is hands stuffed in as they walked, and slipped her right hand into his left pocket, entwining their fingers. It kept her warm and it made him smile, so it was a win-win situation.

John didn't tell her where they were going, but she didn't mind. She was happy to spend time with him, she always was, but now things were different. Or were they? She doubted much would really change; she would still be there for him and he’d still be there for her. They’d still have stupid conversations late into the night or curl into bed together early to stay warm. They’d still cook together and mess about the apartment when they could be tidying up. But now they were something a bit more than friends, what that was she wasn’t sure yet, but she didn’t mind.

John didn’t know where he was going, he was just hoping something would present itself to him. He wanted things to be perfect, for this first date to be everything she wanted and everything he could give her, and he was nervous that he couldn’t do that. But something in John knew that everything would be alright no matter how the day went, whether he spent all his remaining money on one meal or he spent nothing, as long as he thought he was doing something right for her. 

As they walked, a cafe made John stop and think. They’d been there together before, and with the band, but it was small and warm and cosy, so John thought it would be a good start. WIth little ease, he was able to lead her in, and the warm air hit them like a brick wall. A shiver travelled up her spine as Lily stepped in. There were a few people in the cafe, as expected on cold day in February, all huddled at the tables, hands wrapped around hot mugs.

“This okay?” John asked, still somehow unsure.

“Yes John, more than okay, stop worrying.”

He couldn’t help but worry, but her words eased him significantly, and he smiled. Approaching the counter, they scanned the boards.

“Anything take your interest?” He asked.

“Surprise me.”

He sighed at her beaming smile. “Please, don’t do this to me. Please just pick.”

With a light chuckle, Lillian wrapped her arms around his still embedded in his pocket. “Okay sure, I’ll let you off since you picked a good place. Just a cappuccino then, thanks.”

He ordered two and they waited waited patiently for their drinks at the end of the counter. She kept a hold of his arm and it made him smile. At one point, as they shuffled to let some people passed, she lost last her balance and nearly fell, so she gripped onto him for supports. He was happy to support her. Their drinks came and she unhooked herself from him to take it as he took his, and they walked together to a table. It was further into the cafe, out of the way and warm and towards the back. They shimmied off their coats before sitting opposite each other.

“Thanks for the drink,” she said with a smile.

“Of course. Isn’t that how dates are supposed to go?”

“You don’t have to buy me stuff, it’s appreciated though of course. Next time, I’ll pay, only fair.”

“You really don’t need to, but glad you think there’ll be a next time.”

“I mean, unless this goes like, terrible wrong.” A look of panic flashed across his face. “John, when I say it has to go terribly wrong, I mean really wrong. As long as you kill someone I’m sure we’ll be fine.” A nervous laugh escaped him. “Sorry I panicked you.”

 

“No, no, I just...you know, want this to go well.”

“And it will.”

Lillian reached across the table and gently took his hand in reassurance, and he was happy to hold her. He squeezed and gave a smile, a thank you, and she understood. For a few seconds they stayed like that, holding each other’s hands, before Lily slipped her hand out to drink her coffee.

They quickly fell into conversation about work and jobs. Lily talked about again about how much she missed Liverpool and how it was far better than London, and John was just happy. “You should come up to Leicester with me sometime,” John said, “My parents would really like you you know.”

“They would?” Her voice was soft.

“Yeah of course. But they’d probably ask you a lot of questions, they’re kind of...nosey, I guess.” He laughed a little at describing his parents as nosey, but in a way they were; he was sure they’d bombard her with questions about her family and her work and life, and ask about how she knew him and how they got along. He was sure they’d pull out a photo album or two with his baby photos.

Lillian couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her and his parents getting along. He’d shown her pictures of them, he so clearly loved his family with all his heart and only ever wanted to do them proud, and she would so like to get along with them.

“I’d like that sometime,” Lillian said.

“I think Julie might be a bit harder to please, she takes warming up to, but I know she’ll like you too.” He spoke so highly of his sister too, how much they annoyed each other as young kids but were also thick as thieves. Lily hoped to get along with her too.

They changed to subject naturally, conversation flowing as it usually did. “So how’s the prep going for Saturday?”

“Good I think. Things are coming together, we’re just working on the set list order now since we have all the songs picked. Any suggestions?”

“You guys doing Keep Yourself Alive?”

“Yeah, it’s one of our popular ones.”

“Make sure you open with it. Really hypes up the crowd and it gets you guys going. You can see the crazed adrenaline in Roger’s eyes all the way from the back of the venue.” John chuckled at that. The crinkles at the corners of his eyes made her feel fuzzy inside.

“You’re not wrong.” 

“I know I’m not. And you better be playing Son and Daughter again, I love that one.”

“Yeah it’s in there, don’t worry.” She smiled. “Grace coming too?”

“She should be unless something happens.”

“What would happen to stop her from coming?”

“Nothing sinister John, just if her work decides to be an ass and give her a shift at super late notice.”

“They really shouldn’t do that.”

“I know, but we’ll ask her when we get in and see if anything’s changed.”

While they were at the coffee shop, their hands were either wrapped tightly around the hot drink in front of them, on holding onto each others. John felt like he was the ocean, with his coffee unable to settle from the welcoming twists and flutters of his stomach s he looked at her. She was his lighthouse, keeping him on course, or something like that, John hadn’t quite worked out the metaphor yet. And they stayed there in the warm long after they’d finished their drinks.

# # # # # #

The day practically consisted of them move from place to place, keeping warm inside wherever they could, but they were out less the John had hoped, but not in a bad way. He’d hoped for them to be out all day, but quite quickly they both realised they’d just rather be at home in the warmth and comfort they liked so much, so that’s what they did. When they did get home, they both quickly changed into comfortable and lazy clothes; John went for his pyjama pants and a long sleeved shirt and Lillian went for leggings and a hoodie. They sat together on the couch with the radio playing, Lily comfortably sat between John’s legs with her back to his and his arms around her.

“That will be you one day,” she said.

“Hmm?” John responded, unsure as to what she was referring.

“One day, it’ll be you on the radio, and people across the country will be living their lives with Queen playing.” He chuckled and pulled her a little closer into his chest.

“Maybe. You seem to have such high hopes for the band.”

“Not high hopes, I just know how good you guys are, and I know you’re going to make it big. I just know.” She smiled up and him, and John leant down and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. Lillian reached up behind her and her found found the back of John’s neck, not letting him pull away as she craned her neck and forced the kiss deeper. John wasn’t complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for why it's been so long:
> 
> 1) I have/had writers block. I get it a lot and it's very frustrating and there isn't much I can do about it. I took a break from the story, but every time I went back to it, I was just as stuck as the last.
> 
> 2) Despite having writers block, I had big ideas for the future. I still plan on executing them, at least some of them, but going about it slightly differently than I first intended, but that's okay, a lot of stuff changed writing this.
> 
> 3) My attentions moved away. I'm in a lot of fandoms, and I become invested. When I'm focused on one thing, that's where my attention is, and mine drifted from Queen and BoRhap to Gotham. Now don't get me wrong, I still love them and I still listen to Queen, I have all my life, but I was just more inspired to write other stuff. My attentions have changed again, and it's now on Criminal Minds and BTS, but after seeing Endgame today, I'm sure that'll take up time too.
> 
> This is long, but I wanted to explain just a little. So what's going to happen? I have another chapter written, so I'll have to start working on chapter 21 again soon, but I'll more likely just continue posting when I can. I hope you're patient and kind enough to deal with me. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this story is cute honestly, and I have so much planned for these guys, all of them really, which is awesome. Let me know if you liked it, and if you have anything you'd like to see in the future, maybe I could worm some little things in, especially because I only have so much planned a head for this and would love to see people's suggestions.
> 
> Also, did you picture the actual band or the film band more? I'm curious


End file.
